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Wint3rFir3's Replies
If just doing the basics of parenting is sanctimonious, don't become a parent. You're already saying it's too much responsibility that you're not willing to do. No one will judge you that, but they will judge you once you have a kid and then disown them because you don't want to answer for whatever you do teach your kids.
Also, why are you first asking a question, and then insulting anyone who answers it? If you can't handle an answer as harmless as mine, you're not fit for conversation. I don't think it's unsettling to bring up a topic, what I find unsettling is the repeat of that topic, and not even what, a week in between them. It comes off as a fixation, and having a fixation of rape is unsettling, do you disagree? If we were friends, I would be suggesting you need a therapist to discuss it, as it comes off as kinda unhealthy, but since we're not, I'm just pointing out something you might want to correct if you genuinely want to connect with anyone on a basic social level.
As for everything else, has nothing to do with me. I wasn't on some moral high horse, and this story about your workplace is irrelevant to the topic. I don't even know how I factor into Kowalski's interactions with you, it's perplexing.
I'm more of a truth kind of truth or dare person, so, no.
Pretty popular until at least the mid-90s. Teen music and teen film and tv shows go hand in hand, so the fade out of grunge had a lot to do with shows like My So-Called Life getting cancelled and movies like The Crow resulting in the death really souring the relationship between grunge and film/tv. And with no outlets like these to feature the music, where would grunge bands get their promotion? Certainly not the internet. This, in conjunction with the rise of the girl/boy band being a huge vehicle for pushing mass teeny bopper merch onto teens - which was antithetical to grunge culture - really killed the genre.
Of the films I have seen, I'd probably put Glass last and LITW second last and The Village above Signs, but otherwise, yeah that seems about right.
The way you phrase/perceive things throws me off.
In the first instance, you were able to be the victim and blame others for your trauma because you were the victim and others were responsible for your trauma. And I'm truly sorry for your experience.
In the second instance, you were also a victim of a false accusation, it's not a role you were playing. The word victim isn't a bad word no matter how much it's demonized, it has a definition and should be used accordingly.
However, how much grief could a non-violent and non-sexual misdemeanor cause? Were you arrested? If not, and it was just someone saying they didn't believe you, or several someones disbelieving you, that's incredibly unfair, but it's hardly comparable to being sexual assaulted. But that's what I mean by perception - you felt harder done by when it came to the latter situation, but it doesn't mean you actually were, you maybe just perceived that you were because you didn't have people siding with you as you expected they should.
I don't care for leftist/rightist progressive/conversative politic speak, just seems to invite division when a lot of us imo don't even fall into those categories.
Good friends with whom I converse regularly = 4. Two whom I met in high school and two whom I met in college, so weve known each other at least 15 years if not more.
You keep bringing up rape, it's getting a little unsettling.
That said, your kid is always going to be your responsibility, whether you like it or not. You're not responsible for their actions, but you are responsible for their well-being. That doesn't mean defending their actions, it means trying to get them help and not letting them off the hook for their behaviour. A lot of people mistake being a parent for excusing your kid's bad habits - no. It's your job to teach them right from wrong, and that doesn't change when they get older. If they did this or worse, you step up and get more involved in their life so they know that whatever they do will require them answering to you as well as the law. If you feel it's necessary or the only solution to call the cops on them because it's the only way to stop them, then you do it. Then you visit them in jail and you make sure they know you're their parent and you're there for them, and also that they can't continue this kind of behaviour anymore - it's not an admission of acceptance of their behaviour, it's just you doing your job.
Very few people teach their kids directly to be sexual abusers, btw. No one is holding How To Ingrain Sexual Assault Into Your Child 101 seminars as far as I know. But if your kid raped an unconscious woman on campus, ala Brock Turner, and like his father, you're advocating his freedom by reading out a letter stating you don't want your son's life ruined by his own choices in court, that's when you know you're not doing your job right.
So a melting pot with far less school and mass shootings? Sure, sounds terrible.
Whatever the gender of the person this happen to, it sucks and no, I don't believe it's moral, but if you're an adult making adult decisions like marriage, then you have to consider these things beforehand. There are a lot of outcomes that aren't moral when it comes to relationships, this is why people need to learn independence before rushing into something serious.
Stories like this aren't rare, so it's not like you've never heard of this kind of thing happening before you get married. How many people convince their partners to have kids and then leave their partner with the kids? How many people stay at home with kids so their partner can earn the money to buy a home, only to be kicked out when the working partner decides they can upgrade because of their income? How many people get married and put their family home in both their own and their partner's name, only for their partner to cheat on them and still be entitled to the home that belonged to their deceased parents? And so on. Relationships shouldn't be treated lightly just because people are desperate not to be alone. The law isn't really on anyone's side.
Each other's minds. The thing about mind reading is, if you know someone is looking into your mind, you can't help but think about your own dirty laundry, even if it's a fleeting thought. So both would likely be trying not to think about their own mental dirty laundry while looking into the other's brain - and of course trying not to think about something means you have to think about it to know what you're not supposed to be thinking about.
So both would probably be seeing each other's darkest or most secret thoughts while thinking about their own.
Probably felt like a win/reparations given how many men of colour are wrongfully incarcerated, even if this particular man was guilty.
I don't know what you mean. Imo there was a concerted effort in film from the early 90s onward to show more camaraderie between white people and poc - Cool Runnings is another great example - because of the Los Angeles Riots of 1992, but it wasn't less "woke", people just weren't as sensitive about or as threatened by the presence of POC being in films as they are now. Remember when movies like Rush Hour, Blade and Romeo Must Die weren't even talked about in terms of race? No one was screaming about diversity, POC were accepted in film as leads and co-leads alongside white people.
So basically what you're saying is, you're okay with your daughter being sexually assaulted, because you wouldn't be held responsible, but if your son was a rapist, you would be held responsible and that's what's bad about it? So having kids is all about how you're perceived, and who cares how they're treated and perceived based on your parenting? I can't even call this thinking sexist because it dehumanizes both genders.
Yeah, I definitely disagree with what you're saying. Also, as a father of a daughter, if you were a decent one, you would still likely feel responsible for anything negative that happened to your daughter, as you would feel you'd failed to protect her. It's not rational, but love isn't rational.
And who in the world has told you that when a girl does something, the world's to blame? Like, you know when a woman is sexually assaulted, the first thing people ask is "what was she wearing?" implying she brought it on herself through her actions. If she dates or marries an abuser, people guilt her for staying with him. If she has kids, she's the main culprit if anything goes wrong with the kids because "boys will be boys" but mothers are supposed to know best.
I definitely know what cognitive dissonance is, and something tells me you must experience it a lot. Also, your friend sounds like a misogynist. Neither of you should have kids if you care about kids at all.
Considering I've not gone blind this month, I'm gonna go with never, since I'm clearly not doing it right.
I can't quite grasp what you're saying, but I have a feeling I don't agree with it. You can deal with the grief of something happening to your daughter? What? But you won't take responsibility for a son who turns out to be a bad person, which might be your fault? Again, what?
I'd probably buy the land I'm currently living on (renting an apartment atm, one of 5 apartments in total) and would turn it into 2 larger properties, one for me and one for my elderly neighbour, an Irish gent and a real swell guy. I'd probably also have a home in England, which feels like my second home, and go between the two to avoid the extreme parts of the seasons (summer in Australia, winter in England - although I do quite like the beach and ice skating).
That was a joke about flaky pastry, which requires 400F/200C for maximum puff. Yes, I know what flaky behaviour is, that you think I wouldn't is weirder than me having to explain that my comment was a joke.
When I hear stories about people who listened to the voices that told them to kill, I always wonder: Why did you listen? And who would actively choose to follow the instructions of a talking cartoon sponge? I don't care how crazy I get, I'm not taking orders from a sponge.
Probably the rudest people overall I've met were the French, particularly Parisians, but I quite liked them still and got along well with them.
I think you're describing pastry.