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Reverand Alden (60)
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Oscar winners on LHOP
What was the shadiest thing Caroline ever did?
The Minoka Years on COZI
Frog Mouthed Cassandra
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Unfortunately, no one, not even Charles himself can answer that question. The reason is that lazy Charles never spent a day working. He was perpetually out of work, a shoplifter, and a busy body that made himself feel better about his pathetic life by getting up in everyone's business.
The show was too ahead of its time. The same writers finally brought us Married With Children which lasted.
The problem was Matthew was getting into all kinds of trouble and getting away with it. Scared Christian mothers complained and the show lost its vibe.
It was by far my favorite show since I was Matt's age and just as wily.
He probably didn't smell that bad. He never worked, and though he made it an art form, Charles didn't have to burn up a sweat to be the town busybody. Also he cried so much he likely bathed himself with his own tears.
The question is how badly did Mr.Edwards smell, and how drunk was Caroline when she let Edwards impregnate her with Laura? Laura smells like a dirty horse!
I would have tapped Nellie in my spare time. After she married and divorced her pig farmer, she was a jezebel. Couldn't slow her down, and all the guys had to wait their turn for her though turnover was quite rapid since she was so wild. She was driven out of Walnut Grove after all the men and women developed a severe case of syphilis, so she moved to NYC with her gay friend who sadly died of AIDS. It is suspected that Albert was the one who brought AIDS to Walnut Grove and poor Percival caught it from his demon seed.
Except Caroline strayed more than a feral cat!!! I admired her ability to hide her libidinous side so well. (Not from Charles, he was dumber than Buzzbee, but from Mrs. Olson, who never realized why Nels always gave Charles credit at the store. Charles always talked about 'cash on the barrel', but Caroline worked out a deal with Nels that it was actually "Caroline on the Barrel" in the back storeroom!!)
Well, Caroline was already pregnant with Mary and since her high school sweetheart skipped town once he realized Caroline was knocked up, Caroline had to do some fast thinking and scheming. She was like "Who is dumb enough to believe a baby can be birthed five months after a wedding?" Well, we have the answer. Sure, he couldn't provide for her or her later kids that weren't his either, but she liked Charles' sojourns to find work so she could enjoy the affairs with anyone she crossed paths with. He was the definition of a cuckold!
Haha, you're right! How far did they have to walk?
I could have sworn I saw Lindsay/Sidney Greenbush receiving an Academy Award. Then I woke up to the tv and started hearing "ALISSA!!! ALISSA! Gotta get out of here, gotta go away!"
Well, you have to admit, having him as a dad wouldn't be ALL bad. You could:
Lie with no consequences.
Shoplift with no consequences.
Get a girl pregnant and he'd believe you when you say you're not the father.
Commit arson and murder and not even get yelled at.
Steal morphine from the doctor's office just to feed your addiction and not get reprimanded.
Assault a teacher in school with nary a consequence.
Charles wasn't all that bad as a father when you examine the evidence....
He also laughed too much at unfunny things.
He was also the composer of the Front 242 hit "Hey Poor! Hey Poor! Hey Poor you don't have to be poor anymore! Jesus is here!!" (Charles thought he could translate that into some credit at the Mercantile. Harriet responded "Um, no. That won't work on me bud")
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