Mamma Mia! Here We Go Again AKA everything wrong with modern Feminism summed up in 2 hours

(yes this film goes on for 2 hours)

REVIEW AND PROBABLY SPOILERS

-a film documenting 2 hours of women being self indulgent
-set to a fucking soundtrack
-where do we start with this morally corrupt mess?
-well first thing is I saw the first film on a plane a decade ago
-all they had was mamma mia and terminator salvation
-so i watched both
-maybe the worst few hours of my life
-and as bad as mamma mia was
-it was still better than the terminator film
-i mean at least it still had good songs
-listen lets get things straight
-everyone loves these swedish pricks
-even i do
-you'd have to be a complete fucking faggot to dislike ABBA
-but lets analyze some of this film
-so unlike the first film Meryll Streep's character is dead as fuck
-but unfortunately for the audience
-she dies off screen
-but this film is like some Marvel origin story
-showing a young meryll streep blossoming into a genuine hoe
-like i didnt even realise the premise
-is that meryll slept with 3 strangers in 3 days while on a gap year
-i know i know some girls out there are saying this is unrealistic and not how women act
-apparently the numbers are far too low
-so meryll gets pregnant but doesnt know who the father is
-and throughout the 20 odd life of her bastard daughter
-they never once get a paternity check
-instead opting for the far more lucrative option
-of collecting 3 sets of child support
-this entire fucking film
-is just a female wish fulfillment
-wherein they are the princess
-and get given literally everything
-and still find the time to complain via a brilliantly melodic song
-so this bitch bangs 3 different guys from 3 different countries with 3 different accents in 3 different nights
-and somehow avoids a full blown herpes breakout
-whereas if i so much as got a handjob from some drunken hoe
-i'd probably end up covered in all kinds of AIDS
-but anyway so this girl then gets all her meals payed for her
-then gets a free boat ride
-then a free horse
-yes a horse
-then a free fucking house that she was squatting in
-if i got caught squatting in someones house
-id be rightly referred directly to the nearest local constabulary
-so yeah anyway this girl is played by shelley from twin peaks
-and she's pretty cute y'know
-she has great skin and like tons of makeup
-and her mates are pretty fit
-but equally whoreish
-and then some more singing and dancing and whoring and drinking happens
-and then in the last 10 minutes guess who turns up?
-fucking cher thats who
-yeah after all this feminist fuckery
-they wheel out the still fuckable corpse of cher
-cher looked past it when do you believe in love after life came out
-and that came out roughly 20 years after her best before date
-now dont get me wrong
-id still bang her
-but i have literally zero standards
-plus i quite like her
-she did some good stuff with meat loaf
-he should have been in this film tbh
-instead we have the king from a kings speech
-james bond from goldeneye
-and some fucking swedish prick
-the songs were good though
6.5/10