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What a Terminator 7 Hollywood pitch will look like....

posted 4 years ago by ReelReviews14 (1030)
3 replies | jump to latest

Hollywood Studio, 2028.

So.... Terminator 3, 4, 5, and 6 NEVER happened. Those movies were an embarrassment! Its time to start fresh and go back to basics. Terminator 7 will be the REAL Terminator 3, and James Cameron will market it as such.

Terminator 7 will give fans what they want: THE FUTURE WAR!

In the film, it is 2029, post judgement day (which happened at some unspecified time at the past). Skynet knows John Connor (now played by Jaden Smith, support the latest recasting or you're racist) has WON THE WAR! So the last dying remnants of Skynet send the new super ultra uber-cool state of the art, T-1,000,000 (Jennifer Lawrence), a gaseous-based Terminator that can become invisible, back in time ONE YEAR to change history and KILL John Connor minutes BEFORE he can win the war.

The resistance counters this by finding the ONE Terminator left they can reprogram to stop Skynet, an obsolete, aged T-800 model (played by 80+ year old ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER) back in time to warn John. He's too old to fight, see, but he can WARN him!

Knowing there is no way hide from the nearly invincible omni-present T-1,000,000, John makes a last ditch effort to save humanity. The only way he can defeat the T-1,000,000 is to change his identity so that John Connor no longer exists. John undergoes a sex reassignment surgery performed by the elderly Dr. Silberman (Earl Boen returning to the franchise for the first time since Rise of the Machines!) and JOHN becomes JANE DOE (played by Natalie Portman)

Together, JANE and the T-800 must work together to find a way to Terminate the T-1,000,000 so that John will once again win the FUTURE WAR once and for all.

Hollywood Studio Execs:

"Greenlit"

[–] ReelReviews14 (1030) 4 years ago

Oh, and Terminator 7 "will be the start of a NEW trilogy" (until it bombs, of course)

[–] bozo_500 (12225) 4 years ago

Give me this movie. NOW!

[–] [deleted] 4 years ago

I was thinking that Chris Pine at the helm of the Enterprise could slingshot around the sun, go back in time, and rescue John Connor and a beached whale from the Mexican resort he and Sarah are at.

Then Chris brings John forward 10 years using Spock's calculations involving Scotty's transparent aluminum, where John finds Sarah and steals Androgynous Thing's medicine, then a future Sarah finds and has Karl notify all the Terminators coming-thru of Androgynous Thing's location, then with past John & future Sarah tracking-down Dani and both shooting her in the face with shotguns, finally ending with a force ghost DeForrest Kelly scanning Dani's mutilated face and saying, 'She's dead, John.'.

Next, the movie fast forwards 30 years to a meth-addled John leading the Future War from the bridge of the Enterprise that we all wanted to see - with a single photon torpedo shot down the exhaust port of Legion Net delivering the death blow to the system, but allowing cannibal Ewoks to reproduce unchecked who had been secretly surviving in Lucas Films costume warehouse since being mothballed in 1983 - this resulting in an altered timeline where the Future War is between the surviving humans and satanic terminator teddy bears, since the Ewoks had merged with Legion Net (still fleshing that one out).

The final scene will show a rogue band of Terminator Ewoks in the desert butchering & feeding on Dani's remains Bone Tomahawk style (her corpse having previously been frozen, and awaiting reanimation by the US Military) - thereby leaving the story-line open for a sequel to the resolution of the war.

It all hinges on young John from the past killing a future Dani to save the franchise.

On a personal level, I don't want to live in a post apocalyptic future wasteland of a world ruled by a 5'1" mouthy broad with no discernible skills.