How would they explain johns absense

The opening text will read:

The machines rose from the ashes of the nuclear fire.
Their war to exterminate mankind had raged on for decades and gone through several timelines and temporal iterations.
In this timeline, the leader of the human resistance, John Connor, is, unfortunately, indisposed. While attempting to take his customary pre-battle nervous piss for good luck, the legendary military bulwark got his dick stuck in his zipper.
Alas, the final battle will not be fought for the future. It would be fought here, in our present...tonight.

Then cut to a shot of a men's room door and the gruff sounds of male agony behind it.


[none]

There won't be a John Connor, there'll be a JANE Connor instead.

Yes, Sarah will have given birth to a daughter in these new movies.

John had a sex change in this one.