I just wanna get paid!

You could call them, or write to them, or walk over to their office, or their house, or take a cab, or hang out at their beauty salon, or disguise yourself as a garbage collector and come by twice a week, or show up dressed as a pizza delivery person with a pie in both hands, or rent an exterminator truck, or claim you're the pool boy, or parachute in, or do surveillance with a drone first, or have your kid knock on their door asking for walk-a-thon donations, or dress up like a zombie and walk around in circles on their front lawn, or dig a tunnel to sneak in, or rent a smoke plane to write a message in the sky, or send smoke signals or a carrier pigeon.

You could take a donkey, hitch a ride on a star, take the slow boat, or ride on a bus that will explode if it drops below 50MPH, or hop, skip, and jump there, or crawl backwards, or ride in a chariot, bust down their gate with a tank, or follow them and wait for them to stop for gas on a deserted highway.

You could pole vault onto their deck, or claim you lost your dog, or just knock on the door and mumble something incoherent, or ask if this is where the party is. You could rollerblade, rollerskate, ice skate, or sack jump there. You could scream that your hair is on fire and you need water, or say your car broke down.

You could say you're Orkin and they have termites, or the gas inspector and there's a leak, or you could tape a note on their window, or come down the chimney like santa. You could bobsled in, or hang glide. You could email them, post on their blog, tweet about it, and make a youtube video.

You could wear a t-shirt advertising what happened, or call their moms or their therapist. You could revoke their parking passes and follow them around in grocery stores. You could dress up exactly like them every day and mirror their every move and spoken word, or shoot a message onto their lawn with an arrow, or teach a parrot to speak what you need to say, or learn sign language.

You could pain the message on the side of your car and park everywhere they go, and use a megaphone, and make some internet memes. You could rent billboard space, and TV commercial time, and radio, and swap the signs that blind homeless people hold up to get money on street corners. You could hypnotize them, or hold one of their lawn gnomes for ransom, or blackmail their lover, or call your local tv news troubleshooter to shame them on-air, or file a complaint with an actors' guild, or sick your dog on them, or bake them a pie, or just keep yelling "SHOW ME THE MONEY!!"

Dear, I don't think you're trying very hard. ;)

Even prostitutes know to get paid upfront.

Let's see who takes the bait.

Out of curiosity, what part did you play?