MovieChat Forums > Call Me by Your Name (2018) Discussion > Now, I am naive, but that ending...

Now, I am naive, but that ending...

posted 6 years ago by Artimousgordon (1)
7 replies | jump to latest

The last sequence with the phone call, Oliver getting married, then Ellio gazing into the fire...

Was I supposed to feel good or bad?

Cause I cried… a lot. And they weren’t “happy tears” damn it! They were no-Legos-this-christmas “sad” tears. What’s worse!: I can’t stop thinking about it.

(wonder what that means?...) (cough!)

My question is this: when a fling like this happened back in those days—when homosexuality was less accepted than it is today—is that what guys did? I.E. They just get married and remember the pre-marriage good ‘ol days?

If so... that freaking sucks!

I know I know: “read the book...”. I get it. I’m just venting here.

That last sequence just really wrenched the heart out of me.

I think the word is “yearning...”

Anybody?...

Anybody?...

[–] modica (4169) 6 years ago

I felt awful for Elio. I don't think that is what most gay guys did back in the day. I think there are just as many guys who pretend to be straight and marry as there was then. I don't know why Oliver called to tell Elio the news. I think it was kind of cruel. Maybe he should have just leave things be and let Elio get on with his own life. I just am not sure what Oliver's problem was.

[–] marecek (122) 6 years ago

Alright, first, major KUDOS for the excellent phrase, "no-Legos-this-Christmas sad"!

I think the ending was supposed to be gut wrenching. It certainly had that effect on me.

What did gays do then? Well, I grew up in San Francisco in the 1970-80s, and believe me there were plenty of gay couples living there (and, although SF was considered the gay-Mecca then, in many other cities as well). So, the simple answer is, no not all gay people got married and just lived with it. From the film, we don't really know exactly what Elio wanted or expected - apart from crying, "I don't want you to go!", it seemed like he knew and assumed Oliver would leave at the end of the Summer and that would be that. Did he wish or dream that Oliver would want to make it permanent? The heartbreaking ending certainly suggests as much. For his part, it seems clear that Oliver always intended to move on and get married. Maybe I am clueless, but from the film he strikes me as bi-sexual. His line about his father sending him to an institution is very telling. He is going to "do his duty", marry a woman and have children.

That is my view from the film, but I have not read the book, which goes further into the future (20 years, I believe) and recounts some meetings between them later in life. Because I haven't read it yet, I haven't really wanted to hear the details, but no doubt it must reveal whether Elio marries, stays single, or has a male partner. Perhaps we'll find out from the planned sequel.

[–] Nina (527) 6 years ago

I totally feel you! I also cried. You are not alone! I don't understand Olivers Behaviour neither! He really felt for Elio. But I also think Oliver had always his young age in mind....So he couldn't think of a real relationship with him.

What bothers me most is the fact, that Oliver besides of telling Elio that he will get married, also told him that he misses him and that he remembers everything! why??

[–] ozzy100 (102) 6 years ago

Call me heartless but I didn't really feel sad or bad for Elio, I found t relatable but not sad, It was a summer fling Elio new that, Also the way Elio treated his girlfriend Marzia was pretty cruel and nasty too, so maybe the ending was karma;)

[–] 123moviefan (3) 6 years ago

i think Oliver is at heart always trying to be "good", ie lead a conventional life. we know from his allusion to this father that this is how he was brought up. i think maybe he called to tell the family of his engagement because? maybe they will be invited to the wedding or that he didn't want them to hear about it from someone else. he probably got caught in the emotion after talking to Elio and their affair came rushing to the forefront once he heard .."Elio Elio Elio" again...i just watched this movie for the first time last week and i feel bad i missed all the great chats about it...i can't stop watching it and would love to hear all the feedback since i have so many questions about it.
to your point, i feel like Elio broke Marzia's heart..even more cruel as she told him she was afraid of him doing just that...but in Elio's defense i think he did try to see how far their relationship would go..u recall after the "date" with Oliver was set up for midnight he rushed out and had sex with Marzia. i think he was a confused 17 year old and trying to find himself. In the end, Oliver was just way more of what he wanted.

[–] ozzy100 (102) 5 years ago

Marzia was very young and probably confused too, it takes a lot to spill your heart about how you really feel about somone And I felt lied and strung her along a bit, He ignored her for days (the moment he got who he really wanted) and cast her aside without a second thought, And I can't forgive the way he just rolled his eyes at her when she told him she loved him.

sorry just how I feel, I know he was hurt and upset at the end, but truth be told hes probably going to go though many moments of heart break through his life, and hes probably going to inflict it on others too. its just the way the cycle of relationships go unfortunately.

[–] captainburrito (128) 4 years ago

He tells him he remembers so he knows that what he felt was reciprocated. The call was a courtesy as he respected Elio enough to have that uncomfortable convo with him to let him know he was getting married. That provides closure for Elio as he himself must have understood what first love is like, especially when you have to hide. The pressure can be unbearable because you have to hide it from your family and never let your guard down 24/7.

He himself probably knows Elio will forever remember that experience and he wants him to know it was something special. In affairs like this, sometimes the cruelest thing is to not know.

When Oliver leaves on the train you can see how bitter sweet it is and he is torn up about it too. Previously you saw Oliver try to restrain himself after backing off from the initial pass at volleyball. When Elio takes him to his special reading place and Elio grabs his genitals he still resists. He later tells Elio when he was out, not with that girl but just staying away alone before coming home late to avoid Elio. That shows how much he cared about Elio's welfare.