Some questions


I hope someone can answer me this:

1) Oliver was really into Elio but did he really love him as he soon wanted to get married?
It seemed as if he could get quickly over him?

2) How did the parents know? Elio and Oliver only kissed when they were in their room.

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1) That's not really clear. He said he's been on and off with the woman he married for two years, so it's not like he got married as soon as possible to the first woman he could find. In the book, the Christmas call is actually a Christmas visit. And it seemed to me as if Oliver loved Elio, but knew they couldn't be together - so he wanted to keep the memory of the summer they had together pristine and not ruin it with any pain.

2) Well... His mum didn't quite know. But I would guess his dad knew because of the 'gay radar' thing - his dad is bisexual. Plus, they weren't so discreet? In the movie, Elio's mum even says Oliver told her he likes him and Oliver might have had talks with Elio's dad that we don't see. Perhaps they didn't know the full extent of their relationship, but it wouldn't have been hard to pick up on all the signs.

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Thank you very much for your answer!
1) I think that might makes it more sad at all:( Before Oliver leaved he and Elio never even talked about the opportunities to meet each other again or live together at some point....

2) I think you might be right with the dad but i wonder about the mum... Did Oliver just say kind things about her son or really about having feelings for him? Shouldn't have a mother said that Elio is too young for him and he should keep distance?

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1) And Oliver is from a working-class family in a small town in New England in the early 1980s. His family would probably not be comfortable if he suddenly has a boyfriend. I felt that Elio, although younger, was more comfortable with his sexuality.

2) I haven't read the book and in the film the father's scene seems to be rather vague about what happened in his youth. I wouldn't say it's quite clear that the father is bisexual, but it's a possibility, probably left open for the audience to think about it. But then it's generally hard to categorize people ultimately into a certain kind of sexuality. Anyway, both parents were loving and close to her son, and the mother drives her crying son home from the train station (which should have given her also a clue that this was more than a normal friendship).

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Thank you for your answer. Yes, that makes sense. I still can't accept the fact they didn't move in together*lol*
I wondered about something else. When Oliver wanted to fit in societys normal standards, why did he get so angry when Elio made some complimants about the girl who was flirting with Oliver?

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Are you referring to the scene where they are about to drive to the site where they discovered the statue? And Elio is talking about the girl Oliver danced with?

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yes, exactly!

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Ah... Well, he actually talked to the girl as well when he was at the window trying to get her reaction about Oliver. It was like him testing the waters. And Oliver got annoyed because he was crushing on Elio WAY before that. There's even a scene where they sit on the balcony and Elio asks: 'Why didn't you give me a sign?' And Oliver says: 'I did' and proceeds to tell the story about the volleyball match and how he touched him to show him. So when Elio keeps pestering him about the girl he's like: 'What, do you want us to get together?'

Their relationship evolves like this... In these moments they seem to disagree. It's like a cat and dog, chasing each other and trying to not be caught - but intellectually. That's how I view it, anyhow.

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Thank you so much. So you think, Oliver tried to make Elio jealous when he flirted with the girl?

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No worries. :) I think it was more a case of... Elio didn't respond in any particular way to Oliver at the beginning so Oliver decided to keep his distance and enjoy his stay there (flirting with girls being part of that). I don't know if he intended to make him jealous - but I do think subconsciously Oliver wanted to see if he can get a reaction out of Elio.

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Good Point there! But I feel like that Oliver kept his distance at the beginning (when they sit outside and Oliver says later and leaves him alone.

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Mhm, I think Oliver had a harder time accepting his attraction towards Elio - probably something to do with his upbringing as well. That could be the reason why he even told Elio 'I want to be good'?

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man just saw this movie and missed out on a lot of good discussions! agree with your responses...Oliver and Elio were trying to make each other jealous in order to test the waters to gage each other's interest..right before the "she was even more beautiful than last year" comment, Elio was bragging that "we almost had sex last night"(he and Marzia) hoping to bring Oliver in..but Oliver wouldn't have it ("try again later")..but after it the comment later by the car Oliver was getting annoyed as it was clear what Elio was trying to do.
VandaQ i agree with u...Oliver is always "trying to be good"but gets drawn in by Elio..that's the beauty of this movie is that u feel that angst of them trying to resist but being overpowered by love.

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