What I Learned while watching "Ozark Sharks"
1. You can carry your cell phone in your bra.
2. Some people are so oblivious to the feelings of others.
3. The Ozarks are a hot spot for scoping out girls in bikinis.
4. When renting a cabin in the Ozarks, you really should check it out first. Maybe do some research first, or go with a reputable rental agency.
5. Parents will be thrilled when their daughter's boyfriend takes a bus to surprise her on a family vacation.
6. Said parents will happily go off on the lake together to leave the kids to "do their own thing."
7. Ain't no reasoning with a wild animal.
8. "Mosquito stuff" is code in the Ozarks for "gun." Either that, or the mosquitos in the Ozarks are very large.
9. Being prepared in the Ozarks means getting a giant harpoon gun when you're concerned about mosquitos.
10. Sharknado 4 stars everyone who said yes.
11. Boob phones disappear randomly - usually when you most need a phone. Then, suddenly, it's in your friend's truck.
12. You can stand right next to fireworks going off and not get burned.
13. Canoes will not drift away when you don't tie them to the dock.
14. Sharks get good hang time in jumps.