MovieChat Forums > Audrie & Daisy (2016) Discussion > Parents and underage drinking

Parents and underage drinking

posted 8 years ago by The_Boxing_Cat
18 replies | jump to latest

Where were the parents of these girls and these boys? Alcohol played a major role in these crimes, doubtful if anything would have happened without all the underage drinking.

Where did they get the alcohol? More stringent checking of IDs must be a priority. Liquor in the home must be inaccessible to underage kids.

Parents can't supervise their children 24/7, but they need make sure that they have chaperones in place. We have neighborhood watch groups, so why can't parents get together and make sure that nothing like this ever happens again? Don't be fooled in thinking that your child would never participate in such behavior. Kids will be kids, and parents MUST be parents!
Due to social media and online bullying any of our young people have been taken from us prematurely. WHY can't there be more control, maybe an online monitoring system?

I can only hope that this documentary can be a catalyst for parents to get more involved in their children's lives.
How many more instances of this must we hear about before we WAKE UP!? Just because your child is home, doesn't necessarily mean they are safe? It may not be the convicted sex offender who is ripping our kids lives apart, but the kid who sits next to them in class, shares the bus ride home or attends the same parties.

It's time for us to move into the 21st century, as the
lives of our young people are at stake.

Also, when a child has a cell phone, there needs to be ways so their activities can be traced and not so easily deleted, as stated in this documentary...if Apple devices can't make a change for our kid's safety, then I say it's time for a
boycott.

Stand together and stand up for our children!

[–] allthewine 8 years ago

What a load of pish.

This is nothing to do with drinking.

These aresholes are rapists. Simple. End of. No excuses.

The girls could be as drunk as they want. They are not responsible for the behaviour of those scumbags.

[–] The_Boxing_Cat 8 years ago

Nothing to do with drinking? Did you even watch this documentary?

[–] milliemay 8 years ago

I completely agree with you althewine .... if a person was lying in the middle of the street, stark naked and passed out cold it it NOT an invitation to rape them.

[–] jeanette_fjeldheim 8 years ago

Only one guilty party here, the boys. Trying to put the blame on everybody else is bs! At least ask yourself where the parents of the boys are!

[–] The_Boxing_Cat 8 years ago

I didn't say the boys were innocent. I said alcohol played a major role in the situation getting out of hand. It WAS the BOYS who got the girls intoxicated!

Sheesh, don't you people pay attention?

[–] kharadriisa-858-594290 8 years ago

Actually in the Daisy case she was drunk and so was her friend before they got to drinking with the boys. I still don't place blame on the girls at all because kids are curious about alcohol and I know I was back in the day and temptations like that are hard to resist. Though the boys were old enough to know better and targeting girls so young is just even more horrible.

[–] likepineapple2 8 years ago

The girls were already drunk before they even were invited by the boys. Alcohol definitely played a major part in the incidents, and the parents of all minors involved are responsible for the behavior of their children. It is extremely misleading and dangerous to say that girls can be as drunk as possible. There is a reason that minors are not allowed by the law to consume alcohol, and those who claim the girls can get as drunk as they want is misleading young people into believing that they don't need to watch their own behaviors and protect themselves against potential harm. I doubt any parent would not repeatedly say to their children to be careful when driving so they can protect themselves from danger on the highway. But perhaps none of the parents of these young people involved ever taught them to protect themselves from potential sexual attack, to always stay alarm (instead of getting so drunk) to protect themselves from being attacked, and to understand that simply because someone is unconscious doesn't mean one can have sex with them without committing a crime. And where were the school teachers and authorities? All of the boys were accessing minor girl nude photos and many were asking classmates for nude photos, and obviously the schools didn't care at all let alone take any actions to stop that kind of behavior. Obviously none of the young people involved, boys and girls, does self reflection and learn any lesson from the incidents. They all just think they are victims, which they definitely are. But unless parents, schools, communities, and the society all make efforts in educating young people about what behavior is right and what is wrong, incidents like these will not disappear and will happen repeatedly. And unless the criminal justice handle these incidents fairly and consistently, the issue will not disappear.

[–] babz12 8 years ago

I agree with all you said. I hate when people cry "victim blaming" when you point out something the victim did that was wrong. Pointing out underage drinking is harmful and can lead to bad situations is NOT saying it was their fault for being raped.

[–] sanstereo 8 years ago

The victims did nothing wrong and the argument that alcohol and/or parental guidance are part of the problem here is pretty much so off-the-mark I'm not sure how to reasonably respond.
You're not "victim blaming", you're "rapist enabling".
If someone gets drunk, being sexually assaulted shouldn't be a concern regardless of their age.
How do you not get that?

They may have had bad judgement when it comes to how well they handle their liquor, but the sexual assaults shouldn't have happened regardless of their mental or physical state.
Sexual assaults happen to women and sometimes men well over the age of consent and the legal age to consume alcohol.
Where are there parents when a grown woman gets sexually assaulted because she drank too much?
You're going to blame her because some *beep* Neanderthal turd decided to stick his dick in her when she couldn't give consent?

The point isn't the parents or the alcohol or mental state of a 14-year old girl.
It's that PEOPLE SHOULDN'T RAPE ONE ANOTHER regardless of any external factors ever, point *beep* blank.

This is the exact type of thinking that allows people like Brock Turner to deny committing the most heinous crime short of murder.

Jesus, *beep* evolve already.

[–] babz12 8 years ago

Ugh. Did you fully read what I said? I literally wrote, "Pointing out underage drinking is harmful and can lead to bad situations is NOT saying it was their fault for being raped." That means I don't think rape is ever acceptable no matter the poor choice(s) of the victim.

What I'm saying is rape is wrong but it shouldn't excuse other bad behavior. This doesn't mean a rape victim deserved it. Or a drunk person that goes swimming and drowns deserves to die. It simply means people need to take some accountability of their actions, despite the actions of others. I look at them as two separate "crimes." Just because one (rape) is worse, doesn't mean the other (drinking) didn't happen.

By not teaching a kid to take accountability for their actions, they will grow into an adult who won't take accountability for their actions. This is where you get a-holes like Brock Turner. It applies to everything in life.

Parents should teach their kid what is and isn't okay. If a parent catches their kid drinking, they should punish their kid. Not because the kid did anything wrong (other than drinking underage), but because it will teach them that their actions have consequences. Of course the parent should also be teaching them other things like rape is never okay as well.

I'm afraid I'm much more evolved than you since I can think with my brain instead of only my heart about a subject that tugs on the heartstrings.

[–] thn96 8 years ago

It is NOT the girls' fault. They were victimized 100%. But I think the point that is trying to be made here is that bad decisions can lead to tragic consequences. Young girls need to realize what can happen if you put yourself in the position of being so drunk that you can't make conscious decisions. If they had not chosen to drink and not chosen to go to the boy's house, the whole thing never would have happened. Now, let me repeat myself: IT IS NOT THEIR FAULT, but we parents do need to be doing our best to educate our children on the consequences of poor choices. I am a high school counselor and a strong victim advocate, but it is much better for everyone to try to PREVENT such events than trying to blame and prosecute after the fact.

[–] babz12 8 years ago

Yes. There are always going to be bad people in the world, despite how much we all shout at them, about them, and how severely we punish them. Kids need to be taught right and wrong, and how to make good choices and also what can happen when they make a bad choices. I think crying victim blaming can do more harm than good, as some see it as they should never be a victim and therefore never have to care about their surroundings or their minor poor choices. And of course no one should be a victim, but until the world rids itself of the ill-intentioned there is always a chance, and everyone should be aware that they could be a victim and what are some things that can lead up to finding yourself in a bad situation.

[–] stench_blossom 8 years ago

Teenagers will always find a way to do what they want. No point in trying to stop them drinking so they wont get raped. Yea its terrible, alcohol does play a part, but its not the causal factor. The narcissism, sense of entitlement, brazen, power hunger and downright criminal behaviour in those boys is what happened here. They probably would have done it even if there was no alcohol involved.

[–] redmiatazoomzoom 8 years ago

I've heard plenty of stories in which people get so drunk they literally lose the ability to make fully conscious, rational decisions and they end up committing some kind of crime like rape. They essentially regress into a state of belligerent, caveman-like behavior and act on their primal instincts to take advantage of the easiest prey to satisfy their urges.

INEBRIATION IS NEVER AN ACCEPTABLE EXCUSE FOR ABHORRENT BEHAVIOR!

The penalty for raping while being intoxicated (and also raping someone while THEY are intoxicated) should be harsher than raping someone while sober. Drugs/alcohol often make things worse by impairing judgement so the punishment should be more severe. It's common sense.

Obtaining alcohol is too easy. One only needs to find a party-loving college student, a homeless person, an older brother/sister/cousin/etc, or any adult who "remembers what it was like to be a kid in the good old days" and is willing to help them out. Parents/guardians also will often fail to keep their alcohol in an inaccessible place in the home. It's also extremely easy to shoplift alcohol!

Go to a store and you'll notice that the tobacco products are always BEHIND the main cash register which only the store employees are able to access. The same is not true for the alcohol. WHY IS THAT?!?!?! That's pretty crazy. All stores which sell alcohol should keep those bottles locked up to discourage wild kids from shoplifting. This one simple change would help cut down on underage drinking. Every safety measure helps even just a little bit. Seeing alcohol on the regular shelves makes one think, "Hey, that looks like it's available to ANYONE who can reach out and pick it up! Hey, we should all be able to drink, too! If I'm a kid and I'm already going to be breaking one law (underage drinking) then I might as well just STEAL it, too!" <--- Slippery slope, folks. It happens. Keep the liquor locked up!

What about purchasing a bag of sugar and yeast? Any kid can simply Google for instructions on how to make their own alcohol and nothing is set in place to prevent them from the purchase of those ingredients, especially when purchased together!

Alcohol is advertised in the media to be very enjoyable and socially acceptable. The kids are brainwashed into trying to fit in with this hip "drug culture" that's being portrayed. Kids want to have fun. Alcohol ads show people having fun. We should ban those types of ads. Seriously. What's fun about using a depressant? What's fun about getting tipsy, nauseous, and vomiting? What's fun about not being able to remember events? What's fun about a hangover? What's fun about people getting mean and wanting to fight? What's fun about cirrhosis of the liver? Alcohol causes too many problems, directly and indirectly, to justify the "fun" element.

To all the brain-dead witch hunters posting comments in this thread about alcohol not being a factor in crimes, especially rape: Sterilize yourselves; you are unfit to procreate and raise children. Abstain from voting; you are incapable of rational thoughts. Deport yourselves; we really don't need you at all.

♥
My list of 1,600+ wild 'n weird movies: http://www.imdb.com/list/ls053942167/

[–] The_Boxing_Cat 8 years ago

Well said redmiatazoomzoom.

Some pretty naive comments posted here.
Alcohol lowers inhibitions no matter what age.
I stand by my original post- alcohol WAS a MAJOR FACTOR.

To the TROLLS: Obviously you don't understand how the real world is, maybe you're very young? If that's not the case, then you need to do a little research on the effects of alcohol because it could be YOUR CHILD next time.

[–] babz12 8 years ago

People really love their alcohol so they like to sweep it's negative effects under the rug. It's actually incredibly frustrating people don't acknowledge how it often plays a huge part in a night gone wrong.

[–] 8 years ago

[deleted]

[–] stench_blossom 7 years ago

Teenagers will always find a way to drink and experiment with that type of stuff. They always did, always will, I did, and the majority of normal teenagers did it. The more you clamp down on children, the harder they will push back. This "where are the parents when they were drinking" crap is just bull. The boys are to blame, end of.