Things I've learned from this movie
1. You can have a nightmare about fighting during an actual fight.
2. An American celebrity athlete can be kidnapped easily and bring back to Thailand without any suspicions. Your manager and business associates won't be suspicious and call the US authorities.
3. You can be whipped bloody almost everyday but on the next day you will be fine. Don't worry about infections, a shitty Asian prison has perfect sanitary conditions.
4. Never interrupt Tyson's meditation. Never!
5. Master Durand/Van Damme can fight much better when he's blind. I guess his training in the movie "Bloodsport" paid off eventually.
6. Your girlfriend who knows that you have been kidnapped will try to bribe corrupt local policemen. Yeah, they definitely won't double cross you for a much more wealthier man. Don't go to the US Embassy, they won't care about a kidnapped American celebrity athlete, either.
7. That girl can be also kidnapped in a crowded public area during daytime. No one gives a sh*t about her, Asia is THAT corrupt.
8. "2 Girls 1 Kick" also exists, especially in a mirror room.
9. When a 400 lbs monster wants to kill you, attack his body with useless strikes. Never kick him in the nuts, try to gauge his eyes or break his knees.
10. You can now use a mobile app to make bets during an ancient fight. 21th century, b*tch!
11. The audience has a memory span of a goldfish. If you seem to be the winner, they scandal your name. If your opponent overwhelms you, they will immediately change their team.
12. When a 400 lbs monster hits you 100x times, you won't lose any teeth. (OK, that's true for almost every martial arts movies).
13. When he slams you to a stone or concrete ground with full force, your spine won't break, either.
14. You can do acrobatic kicks with full force and speed only minutes after you have been revived from clinical death.
15. If there are really no rules in this fight, why don't you pick up bricks and throw that monster with them?
16. Don't kill or at least beat up the main bad guy at the end of the movie, who had you and your girlfriend/wife kidnapped, tortured you, blinded your mentor friend & also creepy and annoying as f*ck. You will need him in the sequel but he definitely won't use his money, influence and power to seek revenge on you again.
17. One of Van Damme's kids has to randomly show up in every movie of his. They can't act but family is everything.
18. When you go home to the US, your whipping scars will disappear magically.