MovieChat Forums > Flaked (2016) Discussion > He wasn't actually a "self help guru"

He wasn't actually a "self help guru"


How the hell was this guy a self help guru?? He is just a guy who goes to a lot of AA meetings and sponsors people.

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There is an informal hierarchy in the 12 step programs, mostly based on time and the various service positions that a person has held. As in the real world, an expert is defined as someone who has made every possible mistake in a fairly small field. In 12-step, expertise comes in the form of encountering mistakes and overcoming them, as well as in learning from the mistakes and solutions of others. The literature states that "we will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us." Much of that comes from hearing about the experiences of others. So Chip at 10 years is probably in the 80-90% level in terms of having heard everything, and if he is paying attention, would be able to provide solutions to a wide array of problems based on his own experience or that of others. In an open meeting, we share only our own experience, but with a sponsee I am free to say "well Larry did this and it seemed to work for him." I was taught early on that "if I share about myself, I can't say anything wrong, and if I share about another, I can't say anything right." I never tell someone that their solution isn't going to work, but I do let them know that their solution has not worked for others in the past. Those who only share about others don't stay around for long, because it is often a sign that they aren't doing the work themselves.

I like to think that by now I have heard everything, but even this show put "you have a platitude problem" (a play on you have an attitude problem) into my bank of trite phrases. My worst defect in meetings is that I start laughing sometimes halfway through a person's share because I have heard that story in the past and I know where it is going. People and their issues aren't nearly as unique as they believe.

I think my percentage of Chimp DNA is higher than others. Cleaver Greene

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Sluggr-2, you sound like one of those know-it-all *beep* I see and hear in meetings.....so full of yourself you miss the whole point of it....

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*s*h*i*t*b*a*l*l*s*= sluggr-2

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Thanks for sharing and keep coming back.

I think my percentage of Chimp DNA is higher than others. Cleaver Greene

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