The Dad, Carly, is kind of a dick
He can be really condescending sometimes. His personality sucks overall.
shareCarly should realize that his son is becoming a minority in his family.
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MovieChat Forums > Becoming Us (2015) Discussion > The Dad, Carly, is kind of a dick
She*
shareThat is right, she is a she, its funny how they are posting on someone being messed up, yet they are calling Carly he, as if they aren't mean.
shareHe is a SHE, get it through your heads. If you met her on the street would you call her anything other? Personally, I think Carly has a pretty good attitude and a seemingly nice personality in general. She knows what she wants and is striving towards her future. She's funny, outgoing and charismatic.
One and only thing so far that got me honestly upset about Carly was when she and Ben were playing catch and they were talking about what Ben should be calling her now. Carly doesn't want Ben to call her Dad, yet Ben doesn't feel right NOT calling her Dad, specifying it hurts him. Within that conversation Carly asked Ben if he wanted to hurt her, which of course Ben doesn't want to hurt her, but says it hurts him. As a parent Carly should have taken that pain away from her son and laid it on to herself and except Ben to continue calling her Dad at least in private situations. Ben seems to be the type of kid that is very respectful and I believe in public places he could appease his father by calling her Carly or Mom and continue with Dad in private. So, that was IMO totally wrong for Carly to put on her son after everything he has already been through.
~Tammy J~
People calling Carley he are really annoying, why can't people just leave LGBT people alone? You disagree fine, no one cares, but just let them be. As for Carley, I really do like her, but she comes off as a me me me kinda. As a son who really cares about my mom, if Carley was my parent, I would be like how dare you even think of me calling you mom. Its total disrespect his mom, some may not feel that, but thats how I would. Carley seems fair on both ends, but I think Carley should shoulder being called dad, that sort of thing doesn't just change. But I'm not sure on that, I think Carley is where it should is just fine. As for Ben's mom, I think she's still very hurt, but she is civil. At the dinner and party, I felt like Carley was kinda trying to be the center of attention a little bit. She didn't ask her daughter to not invite Carley, but to keep them seated apart, I think thats pretty fair.
sharecwamne_h- You and I are on the same page in how we feel about Ben and what he should be able to call Carly!
Yes I also agree that Carly does seem a bit self centered, but that's either part of her personality trait or due to her change into a woman. She may want to be seen and heard now and be taken as the woman that she has become. Since the show never really has brought up anything pertaining to her male past I don't know if she was as outgoing then or if she was a quiet, withdrawn person in her male past. However, I also like that she is open, honest and outgoing. She's able to talk about herself and what she went through to be where she is at today. Yet she's also able to just relax and have fun communicating without over indulging.
~Tammy J~
She might have felt ignored, like people were clearly seeing Charlie, not Carly. Ben and Carly are very much alike in personality, so she probably has always been that way. She's a personality, she probably doesn't steal the show on purpose, thats just how she is. But finally being a woman, I think a person just wants to show her off. As for being selfish, she probably feels that she has been through enough to not have to go through more. But with Ben and his mom, Carly needs to understand that they didn't sign up for that. Its like cheating and expecting your partner to be fine with it, whatever happens, happens. If Ben wants to call her dad, she should deal with because she had a son and started out as his dad. People like Carly though, I get why they waited so long, in their time things were much worse, but no one forces you to have kids and get married.
shareI agree that Carly is kind of being an ass. Ben calls her out as selfish... I see it most on the "dont call me Dad" issue. Carly's had a lifetime to avoid/come to terms with who she is.
But when it comes to giving even a year of room to allow her 16yr old son the space to grieve rhe loss of his "father" figure, its all about Carly....
Im sorry Carly, I am all for your change and self realization, but that is putting your immediate emotional needs in front of your sons. He is respecting your change in every other way... you refuse to give him even that. ...? For a little while?
He's not the grocery store checkout clerk. He's not the bigot at the gym. He's your 16yr old boy that needs to mourn the loss of one figure/ideal to move onto the true Carly.
I feel Ben. I hope Carly remembers that she is still Ben's parent. It literally isnt the Carly Show (eg: see the parents' engagement dinner! Ugh, I would be kicking her under the table! Dont be an attention hog!)
That being said, I do wish them all luck and happiness... I will keep following this family in transition that still has love to spare.
Ps: next time, respect mom/ex-wife!
I felt the same way when I saw that, honestly I don't know why it was Carly and Ben's mom. The grandfather was more a father figure and growing up, Carly and her won't that close, so Carly should be in the background. I really like Carly, but she has been a bit selfish in my opinion.
I get it, Carly has been hiding for over 40 years, but Charlie did some damage. She can't expect everyone to just be cool with everything. meet them half way.
I met her the other day...she was VERY VERY shy.
shareWhere did you meet her? And what was the situation? Maybe it was an awkward time for her to be outgoing and social.
By seeing the reaction from Ben's mother's family, Charlie must have been a complete a$$hole. I'm sure all that history is hard to get over. But yikes! They went to town on her. I wonder why...
Carly is really in a serious selfish stage right now. I hope she's able to step back after the SRS and cut her kid some more slack. She could stand to step back on her hubris and try to understand how it's affecting those around her.
Yeah that was really shocking, mostly everyone has seemed supporting. What Ben's aunt and uncle said, were low blows and it seems like a attack on all transgender people in my opinion. I'm not sure if they said that because of what she did to their sister or not. I don't think Carly should get a pass because she's transgender.
I think Carly did messed up things during her struggle, she did say she drove drunk with Ben in the car. I think she was really distant and had a drinking problem, I think she said that. I;m sure a lot of that and the transition really took a toll on Ben's mom. I think Carly should be more understanding about that, I think Ben's mom needs to get over it, but can't be easy.
I think Ben has come in better terms with it, but I think Carly should have been more understandable with it. Ben accepted Carly, all he wanted was to call her dad. If Ben can accept his dad becoming a woman, why can't she accept Ben calling her dad?
Oh, I missed a few episodes so I missed anything about Charlie having a drinking problem. Maybe that fed the anti-Carly mood with the former in-laws. I can't believe that that one guy (brother or brother in-law) said that he thought Carly could be doing it all for attention. That's crazy. Why would anyone change their being that dramatically for attention? But they know her better than we do. There must be a lot of dirty water under that bridge. Still a crazy thought.
I'm so glad Grandpa gets to walk the girl down the isle (I'm awful at names, so sorry). That's a pretty big statement if she felt he was more her dad than Charlie was during her childhood. Definite lack of a connection I suppose.
I'm not sure on the drinking problem, been awhile since that episode, but during the camping trip, she did say she drove drunk with Ben in the car. I think she did some messed up things clearly, but it must have been the transition. I think Carly can be a little selfish, but the family should not be attacking her transition, thats a cheap shot, and again its a shot at transgender people in general in my opinion.
I forgot the grandpa's name too, so many of the characters don't appear enough. Anyways, I really like how he sees that Charlie is who he has the issue with, not Carly. He's very understanding. Even Carly said she never was a father to her, but that they have gotten closer after her transition.
I think they should take the high ground with Carly, but I think she should be seated away from Ben's mom. Carly should be there, if her step daughter wants her there, but she should be in the background. If she was more a father figure to her, then yeah I'd get it. But just because she's Ben's parent, doesn't mean she's a important person at every family function. For Ben's sake they should stay on good terms, but stuff like the dinner with the finance's parents, I don't think Carly should have been there, unless she really wanted her there.
It was at a popular retail outlet in Chicago and it was hardly awkward. She was just real shy in real life. She told me about the show and that I should watch but she was really quiet.
shareDid anyone catch the finale? I had to go to work and missed the last 10 minutes and was wondering how it ended. I feel like it wrapped everything up so neatly and sweetly up to that point that there had to be some drama at the end.
With all of the parents making it to the wedding, I can't imagine what could possibly have happened to set up a possible second season. I want so much to like this show and I admire the cast - especially SallyDan and her dear daughter, Danielle. Something just seems a bit off or is that just the way "reality" shows are by their nature. When you know you are being filmed and that this film will be edited and events will be rehashed and then go on TV, and then when on TV you will see yourself again but also see how others reacted to you; and add to all of that the fact that the viewing public (including many of your friends, co-workers, schoolmates, etc.) will see you in real life after watching the episodes, then how can it really be real? How's that for a run-on sentence?
Anyway, I would to know both what happened at the end and what you all think about the show in general.
No drama at the end. Looks like maybe Danielle and Ben got back together. I enjoyed the show, I liked seeing how the family dealt with Charlie becoming Carly.
shareYou have got to be kidding me....?! If anyone in that show is a dick, its the mom! Just watching the ep when she essentially asks the daughter to un-invite Carly from the wedding. She is a nasty piece of work who uses her children's loyalty to her advantage. She is manipulative and it is getting hard to watch! Totally get that she must be in pain after the divorce and having her ex lie to her, but wow, she seriously needs therapy. She is clearly jealous of the attention. The conversation between her and her sister was just downright catty.
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