I wasn't happy with Sheriff Lewis Galloway's moustache
It seemed to be some variation on a pencil moustache but with several days stubble growing above it, the hybrid of two mis-matched halves which created a most upsetting dynamic.
Not unlike neopolitan icecream, perhaps the least satisfactory of dairy confectionary, by which several distinct separations are blended together to create a product that some want part of but no one wants all of.
Both Clark Gable and Vincent Price are two proponents of the pencil moustache that first spring to mind, with John Waters a distant third, but none of this trinity sought to muddy the waters with any additional whiskers thereof.
A quick perusal of galleries of the actor who portrayed the previously mentioned Sheriff Lewis Galloway leads me to believe this is a fashion favoured by the man himself. And while this may be fine for the streets of Los Angeles or New York City, it just didn't work for either the fictional setting of Lake County or the very much based in fact topography of this man's face.
I just wasn't happy about it. But what am I going to do (rhetorical).