Lessons I Learned From Stalked By My Neighbor

If you see someone suspicious in neighbors house, golf club will make a fine weapon while you search house instead of calling police.

And during search, skip the garage so killer does not get caught and you can be murdered.

You can sit in a brightly lit room at night with fully open curtains, talking pics of people's houses and not worry who sees you.

9. If one scheme of faking a death fails to work, try another.
10. You can tell a persons age by looking at their butt.

9. Don't use your house alarm.

10. If you're a cop, the fist thing to make abundantly clear is that you're a murder suspect, but not really we checked your alibi.
11. If you're a murderer, keep hold of the murder weapon stashed in your garage and not even bother to clean the blood off to keep it looking suspicious.

12. A DSLR with a 300mm lens weighs next to nothing, so you can carry it around your neck everywhere you go and not get a stiff neck.

13. Young people of an indeterminate age in Lifetime movies live in that gray zone, where they are still under the thumb of their parents and not yet legal adults, yet can still inherit property and live by themselves in large suburban houses.

14. When you suspect your neighbor of killing another neighbor, you should go over to his house and use his bathroom, leaving the window open. He won't be suspicious or check the bathroom to see what you were up to. Then you should hide in his house with the closet door open. No one will hang up a jacket or need a shirt or close the door - you'll have a perfect view of them fooling around and proof of murder.

15. Smashing a camera is enough to destroy any images or videos on it. No need to remove and wipe the memory card.

16. Lifetime movies are written by semi-intelligent chimps.