A good, silly, enjoyable B movie: things I learned from this movie

I enjoyed this. It is an absolutely ridiculous story with actors doing their best to play it seriously. By first four minutes I was giggling. (Confession, I am a history nerd)

It begins with the title "Scandinavia: The Sixth Century", then immediately pans into a French or Spanish castle of the 12th or 13th century. It is the "Volsung" castle (which is not what the writers thought it was) with a king wearing a badly cheap gold-painted crown made of leather.


It all goes down from there:

1) there is an immortal priest (no reason given) who does not die.

2) there is a sacrifice to the World Serpent, who looks like a sixty foot eel. (I can't remember how to spell the name and I am not going to look it up.)

3) there is a odd-ball viking who busy creating a crossbow with automatic repeat shooting capabilities, and doing electrical experiments with lighting. He dreams of forging sword blades with electricity.,

4) Odin shows up repeatedly for no apparent reason, and ends by getting eaten by the World Serpent while laughing, for no apparent reason. He also disguised himself as a prisoner and has a totally pointless conversation with a jailed Princess, which has NO effect on the plot whatsoever.



Things I have learned from this movie

Odin doesn't know the difference between wolves and strangely large dogs with curly tails. Neither do Vikings.

Pretty girls with large bosoms can totally pass as boys as long as they pin their hair up.

A pretty disguised girl in the middle of being hunted through a enemies forest, MUST find a pool and bathe naked.

World Serpents, who are busy encircling the entire world, can always be summoned by a horn blast and appear within minutes.

World Serpents only eat once a century.

All Vikings refer to their Longships as "boats".

Self-centered jocks are still self-centered jocks even if they are self-identified sexy Viking kings.

Vikings who build 12th century stone castles live within one days rowing from Vikings who live in standard Longhouses.

In Scandinavia Land there are constant thunderstorms, with lighting coming out of clear skies, that disappear within minutes.

Vikings applaud politely and quietly at official announcements by their King, and at Royal weddings.


Be who you are. Everyone else is already taken.