I’ve figured Simon out.

I’m binging the show for the 1st time in years. I’ve read the posts here about the disconnect between Book Simon and TV Simon, who inexplicably winds up with the 3 hottest, so out-of-his-league that it’s vomitous women on the show, and it’s hit me: Simon is the disgusting fat old hairy guy in the porn movie, the lust-driven but hopeless and laughable incels in the male audience, the nerd in Revenge of the Nerds. He gives bullshit false hope to all those guys who date their hand. There’s a good chance he’s the guy who the shows male writers were before they started making money.

Sorry, I’ve overstepped. They’re writing for FreeForm. They’re not making any actual money that will get them seriously laid.