If you do not love this film, you are in league with SATAN!
All Jesus-loving Christians must see this wonderful film. If not, you are clearly in cahoots with the dark side, and must be dealt with.
This film has it all!
It's got Jesus!
It's got prayer!
It's got murder!
See where I'm goin with this? It's like the BIBLE!
Cept...without all the incest, rape, sodomy, genocide, and cruelty. Which is a shame. If it had a few more of those lovely condiments, it would be a film so perfect and pristine that viewing it without stained-glass spectacles would hurt your eyes.
However, nit-picking aside, this film goes beyond simply entertaining the entire family with wholesome goodness, combined with the bright shining light of our blessed lord and savior Jesus H. Christ. It also serves as a cautionary tale. If you don't pray the proper way, the CHRISTIAN way, it will be open-season on you during a crisis.
History doesn't lie, people! In a shooting, a hostage situation, a bombing, or any of the other assorted flavors of ultra-violence and mayhem....it's only the Christians who prayed with great sincerity who are spared.
Take that, heathens! Take that, dirty mud-people! We are going to Heaven, and you are not! Sucks to be you.
HAIL JESUS!!!