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100 Things We Learned from "The Perfect Guy"....

posted 9 years ago by Sebastian_B
23 replies | jump to latest

1. Carter can teleport from behind a locked door to behind the neighbor in five seconds.

2. Frustrated detectives will all but tell harassment victims to just kill their stalkers.

3. The audience must be told via subtitle that two months has passed even though the main character mentions it sixty seconds later.

4. Gas station cashiers always have a gun handy to break up fights.

5. Psycho stalkers will kidnap your cat and then....keep and care for it.

6. Monitors will explode like fireworks when struck hard enough.

7. If Christian Grey did any of this shiz in the first act it would be called romantic.

[–] kami-c 9 years ago

8. There's nothing wrong with getting your spare house key out in front of a guy you just met.

[–] mjack421 9 years ago

9. Do tons of pushups and get sweaty while stalking the one who rejected you.

moviemanjackson.com

[–] curtis-branker 9 years ago

10. Take a tired movie formula that has been redone many times and replace with black actors.
11. Ensure the girl's father dislikes the new boyfriend, because we've never seen THAT before.
12. Ensure the victim/heroine uses profanity during the final moments of her attacker.
13. Ensure everyone in authority was Caucasian so we can maintain stereotypes.

[–] 9 years ago

[deleted]

[–] cameronc-865-261299 8 years ago

That bugged the Hell out of me

[–] sue-534 9 years ago

14. Fathers always end a meal blessing by saying their daughter's new boyfriend is welcome in his home FOREVER.

[–] legendNYC 9 years ago

15. You can walk into a police station with a shotgun and it is no big deal.

You don't know where I've been.

[–] alonevoice 9 years ago

15. When you become the stalker your stalker will stop stalking you...and date a new victim.

16. If you change your name legally and become a psycho stalker, nothing can be done because everything was done legit

17. If you're good with kids, your girlfriend will demand you give her one

18. When you've deliberately set a trap to shoot someone with a shotgun, hesitate long enough for them to overpower you.

[–] Chi-O22 9 years ago

Your last one...EXACTLY! I said to my boyfriend, wasn't the point of her luring him there to shoot him!? Enough with the chit chat!!

[–] Butta25 9 years ago

19. Continue to live in your house even though you know that your stalker has hidden cameras in your house and sends them to your boss.

20. Take random guy to meet your parents but don't introduce your boyfriend of two years to them.

[–] hrhppg-1 9 years ago

"2. Frustrated detectives will all but tell harassment victims to just kill their stalkers. "

I had a stalker and one of the police officers who was helping my case stopped short of telling me to be ready to kill him. It was phrased protect myself at any cost and the officer was visibly upset at what I had already gone thru. He also told me a restraining order was really just so the police had a first suspect when something happens to the victim.

[–] asmith-32723 9 years ago

21. Brag about being a espionage surveillance tech, and then rent a dump to live in.
22. If you get your girlfriend's father baseball tickets, he will instantly love you.
23. Instead of calling the cops, if you're an old lady, you immediately go investigate a possible burglar at your neighbor's.
24. Adopted individuals are common stalkers.
25. Always keep gloves on your person. Always.

[–] Trixie27 9 years ago

26. The Perfect Guy will take you to to a trashy basement reggae club and F your brains out in the dirty bathroom. What a catch!

27. Stay at work late with no else in the office despite having a psycho stalker.

28. Continue to patronize the same coffee shop that you met the psycho stalker at and refuse to let him pay for anything with his money. They really must have awesome coffee!

[–] ki_b 9 years ago

29. In the event that you have a stalker, don't invest in an alarm system, especially when said stalker knows where you keep your spare key.

30. Speaking of the spare, don't change the spot where you keep it even after you know that your stalker knows where it is.

31. Don't ever attempt to prevent your house cat from getting out and roaming the streets. Especially when you live in an area that has coyotes. He will come home eventually.