MovieChat Forums > The Perfect Guy (2015) Discussion > i hate women like leah

i hate women like leah

posted 8 years ago by Finkle-is-Einhorn
23 replies | jump to latest

she has a great boyfriend but because he is not ready for children she ends the relationship, the guy didn't even say he never wants kids just that he isn't ready yet.

what leah is essentially saying is that her love for him is only conditional on the basis he has children with her, how can you end a relationship with someone you claim to love because they wont have kids, if your need to have kids outweighs the love you have for someone is it even love, if you love someone you stay with them because you cant be without them. I really hate women who are like this and it makes you unsympathetic towards leah.

what they should have done is have some other reason she had to split with her boyfriend.

[–] SoCalCatalina 8 years ago

She said she was 36. Her window to have a kid naturally is getting smaller. What if he's not ready in 5 or 10 years? She then missed the chance to have a kid.

[–] Finkle-is-Einhorn 8 years ago

that's still no excuse. her love for her boyfriend only extended to if he would have children, if he didn't want them then she would finish with him she essentially could never love him more than her need for children and that isn't love

[–] jane_bront 8 years ago

I think it depends on the life you want to live. Romantic love isn't the only thing that's important in life - if at all, depending on the person. If being married and giving birth to children is what a 36 year old woman with a biological ticking clock wants and the man she loves has made it clear after two years that he doesn't want to marry her "yet" and doesn't want kids at all, then in order to have the kind of life she wants that will make her happy, what should she do? Well, it's simple. She should find someone else. Everyone is compatible with more than one person. Love's not just a feeling; it's a choice. Love someone else who will share your life goals. Seems like both Leah and Dave should have come to that conclusion a long time ago instead of hanging on and hoping the other will change or just never bring up the topic again.

[–] Finkle-is-Einhorn 8 years ago

well my point is that if she isn't willing to be with him over the no kids thing then that isn't real love because if you really love someone you wouldn't be without them.

its like having a husband or lover is a second thought to having children, having children is her number one priority not having a loving partner so how could any man she gets with(assuming they know this) ever feel truly loved

[–] jane_bront 8 years ago

Look at it this way. A man and a woman meet and then love each other. However, it's been the man's life goal - something that fulfills a personal need - to work with wildlife in Alaska; but it's been the woman's life goal to pursue a career as a ballerina in New York. Someone or both of them will have to give up their life goals as individual people just to be together. But why should they do this? You can't build a fulfilling life around simply loving another person in any kind of relationship. What is your calling in life? What do you want to do in this life? What will make you happy? Real love is wanting the other person to answer these questions for themselves and aim for the answers. Really loving someone doesn't mean you are meant to share your life with them. I think love becomes conditional if you have to give up what's very important to you as a human being in order "be with" someone who's not going to make your life complete simply by living with you.

[–] Finkle-is-Einhorn 8 years ago

trying to beat the clock or finishing with someone because they are not ready for kids is wrong. I know couples who love each other but have never had kids because one of them didn't want them and the other did, they didn't just end their relationship as they were in love and despite not having children there was still happiness, fun and love to had in their life and they loved each other more than things they could have

[–] jane_bront 8 years ago

We can agree that we disagree.

[–] stepsonglass 8 years ago

you sound like you have real issues with women and children. the above poster gave you a beautiful answer and analogy with the life goals ballernia vs alaksa thing and you still dont get it. people who give up parts of themselves for the sake of a relationship or another person are sad. you sound like you're very insecure and want to be put first above all else, which is fine i guess but that's very old school and good luck finding that nowadays when women are taught to pursue their goals and desires and rightfully so, as it's historically been men who pursued their dreams while a woman just went along for the ride.

[–] Finkle-is-Einhorn 8 years ago

here we go with the insecure comments. the first thing that most thick prats seem to call upon when they are incapable of any deeper analysis of a person.

yeah im really insecure me you got me spot on , any other fascinating insights into my psyche that go beyond the average heat magazine reader.

[–] stepsonglass 8 years ago

you are insecure though and old fashioned/dominating.

by your same logic he didnt love her either...because SOMEONE in the relationship had to give up what they wanted in order for it to work. so why couldnt he be the one to give up his childless dreams and simply give her a baby even tho he didnt want to? not saying that's the right thing to do, but by your logic if he loved her he would give up what he wants to appease her.

it's a very simple, shallow, childish definition of love. imo

[–] movielover2011 8 years ago

well my point is that if she isn't willing to be with him over the no kids thing then that isn't real love because if you really love someone you wouldn't be without them.

But why should any person, man or woman, give of their desire to have kids by waiting to see if their partner is not ready and is not sure if/when they will be ready?

The same is true, why should someone be forced into having kids when they aren't ready?

Neither person should be pressured into either situation. If you want kids, find someone who wants kids. If you don't want kids, find someone who doesn't want kids.

It is not right to pressure someone into having kids, and it is not right to ask someone to wait to see if you feel like having kids later. Both paths are selfish and inconsiderate.

[–] NickiDrea 8 years ago

That's ridiculous. Why should she give up something that is very important to her (having kids) if it's something she wants out of a relationship? If she stayed with him and never had kids that would likely doom the relationship anyway because she would always hold it against him that he prevented her from doing something that meant a lot to her.

I would have never stayed with a man if I knew they didn't want to marry or have children. I married the person I knew wanted the same things that I did. If I had never had kids I would have greatly regretted it. I love being a mom and I'm glad I didn't have to sacrifice that to have a relationship.

That hexagon-face bitch, she's so passive-aggressive.

[–] BeBeBlue7 8 years ago

Love someone else who will share your life goals. Seems like both Leah and Dave should have come to that conclusion a long time ago instead of hanging on and hoping the other will change or just never bring up the topic again.

Thanks for your post. It all amounts to having shared goals and maturity. I know couples who conflicted on this particular issue that actually divorced. In both cases, the men wanted children and their wives did not. Unfortunately, there were no compromises on such a major issue and they divorced. If more women and men were honest about their life goals, maybe the right people can connect after all.

I would have followed you, my brother. My captain. My king. --Boromir
LOTR: The Fellowship of the Ring

[–] ImInTheater 8 years ago

I didn't think anything about it until he wanted to get back together. I assumed at first he really didn't care for her since movies tend to make characters a little one-dimensional. He did imply divorce like he never wanted to get married.

But when he came back then I realized he really just wasn't ready and did feel like she was being too pushy.

[–] alanajemison 8 years ago

i worry when reading posts like these. i feel like people like the op genuinely villanize others for being human and have been hurt by someone like that and havent coped well. then it turns to bitterness instead of understanding and growth. my point is leah didn't not love dave anymore, the entire point of "dating" is to find the one you can marry and settle down with. why continue on with someone you dont share a commonality on a major topic (kids) with? it only ends in a breakup later on

[–] 8 years ago

[deleted]

[–] Woodyswife11 8 years ago

By that logic, he didn't really love her either, otherwise he would have married her and given her a baby, right? Choosing to not have a child that you really, really want, just to hold onto a relationship is not going to make for a happy relationship. You cannot ever go back once the window to having a child closes...you CAN find someone else to love though. Nobody should ever compromise their own happiness for the sake of a relationship....ultimately you will resent your partner and that relationship.

[–] BettOnThat 8 years ago

While it is true she could find another, she's also putting herself in a rushed position. If children are her only concern she's not looking for a relationship at 36, she needed a donor, that's the point of the OP as well.

[–] Woodyswife11 8 years ago

It doesn't mean she wanted a donor, it means she wanted a family. She had been with him for 2 years and he still didn't even want to get married. She did exactly the right thing. Life is too short to spend it waiting and hoping that someone will change and want the things that you want. There are millions of other people in the world and I promise there is someone out there that already does.

[–] SerenityInSpace 8 years ago

what leah is essentially saying is that her love for him is only conditional on the basis he has children with her

She didn't say that at all. She didn't suddenly stop loving him because he didn't want kids.

if your need to have kids outweighs the love you have for someone is it even love, if you love someone you stay with them because you cant be without them. I really hate women who are like this and it makes you unsympathetic towards leah.

Huh? You're saying that if a woman isn't willing to sacrifice something major like having a family, she doesn't really love her boyfriend?

You actually hate women who want children more than a boyfriend they will grow to resent?

[–] benman46 8 years ago

PIM.

[–] prigat-12775 8 years ago

Its a Movieee. With a Poor written story. Chillout