Not all that romantic, in the end

I just finished watching this movie less than an hour ago.

What a great film - loved the bleak winter landscapes, the moods set by lighting, the stellar acting. I really enjoyed it.

Meira was clearly quite unhappy in the conservative Orthodox world into which she was apparently born and raised, but the answer to her difficulty - when it arrived - might have been just a little bit misplaced. Felix represented the forbidden, and along with it, freedom. There was intrigue, there was mystery, there was romance...but at the end of the day Meira and her 'mystery man' from the secular world didn't know the first things about each other. Sometimes romance can bridge the gap, but more often it isn't enough to overcome the mundane realities of day to day life, especially when raising children is involved.

I saw the way that Felix was portrayed as a sad character - a man who was clearly estranged from his father for a very long time before his father died - a mismatch of temperament in son and parent, and so a type of tragedy that happens all too often in families. His sister clearly loves him and can afford to be indulgent about his personal failings and/or lack of direction or purpose. Overall, Felix comes across as a drifter, but with means (financial support) due to the luck of his birth. Nothing wrong with that, but hardly the type of person who would be likely to be capable much less willing to take on the kind of responsibility that Meira - with her child - represents. Felix's only sibling was in relationship with a man for 7 years and he still didn't quite recognize the guy or know his name. To me, this is an example of a man whose attachments are purposefully kept at an arm's length. His sister clearly cared for him but their relationship - seemingly at his choice - was conducted by keeping his distance and not spending a lot of time around her.

I have to say, that the second time Felix ran into Meira I was extremely annoyed. She'd brushed him off at their first meeting when he commented on her drawing, with a child on her lap no less. Then when she's walking her child in a stroller and he again tries to chat her up, she gives him unmistakable, direct communication that his interest is not welcome and that she wants him to leave her alone. Perhaps it's my nationality (U.S.) but this sort of pushiness is far from romantic - it's aggressively creepy. Move on, dude - she's not interested.

Nevertheless, the movie didn't seem interested in questioning that dynamic. So beyond that, at the end it was crystal clear to me that Felix thought if she left her husband, she'd leave the kid behind and join him in some romantic idyllic haze, just the two of them. His facial expressions absolutely give it away - he did not sign up for Meira plus her kid. He only wanted Meira.

When her husband met with him in his apartment (a truly great scene, by the way - wonderfully done) he makes it clear to Felix that if Meira leaves him it will be without the child. I believe Felix, however conflicted he may be about Meira's losing her child to be with him, is up for that. He's willing to cope with the guilt if it means he and Meira can be together, just the two of them. He is naive in that regard.

He didn't count on Meira's determination to keep her daughter. That was the unforeseen complicating factor. Even at the end, when Meira in effect asks him "Where will we go?" Felix tries to (on purpose?) misunderstand her by saying what sights they will take in at Venice as tourists. What she really means is, "Ok, I've left my husband and my entire community, and we're now responsible for my child - what are we going to do, how are we going to live?"

Felix, who bragged to his sister about stealing his father's expensive rugs and selling them because he could get away with it, has no real answer for her. On some level, Meira realizes the mistake she's made - not in leaving the Orthodox community per se, but in trusting that a virtual stranger she'd only known for a few months would be dependable in the way she'd obviously expected. She was also very naive.

I know this is totally up to individual interpretation but at the end of the movie I was seeing disillusionment instead of romance. Felix was realizing this isn't what he thought he was getting into - lover plus her child for him to support. Meira also thought he 'loved' her enough that this complication wouldn't matter. Both were mistaken in their assumptions about the other.

The ending shot filmed from the perspective of the gondola's bow was telling to me. Instead of showing the new couple happily cuddling, kissing, nuzzling, etc, with the baby in between them, it showed a depersonalized detachment from a city that is legendary to all lovers.

This was a challenging movie for me. As a woman, I had hopes and expectations for Meira given her circumstances while not being entirely comfortable with Felix - even though he seemed like the kind of guy it would be easy for many people to make friends with. But that's a different thing entirely than what a woman in Meira's particular situation might need in a committed life partner, especially given the limitations and drawbacks of her individual background. In my opinion, each of them wanted and needed things from the other that neither was realistically able to provide.