Rafaels behavior

Is it just me or is he being very selfish? How could he not understand the difficulty of her dead husband coming back and the problems (emotionally) it would cause for her.
Better give her support and let her figure it out and then when she chooses you you really know that she wants you. Expecting her to just not feel anything is so phony...he knows that she’s a very emotional person and should like her for whom she is.
Saying now that he doesn’t trust her? She’s been honest with him, so how did she earn his distrust?
I understand how it would be difficult for him, afraid to lose her - but if he’d communicated more they wouldn’t have had the same problems.