MovieChat Forums > 90 Day Fiancé (2014) Discussion > Offensive assumptions...

Offensive assumptions...

posted 8 years ago by shanny_banany
5 replies | jump to latest

from so many friends/family members that all fiancé visa applicants must be in it for money, a "green card" or a "free ride." It is tiresome how many of these individuals seem to assume that everyone all over the world aspires to nothing more than U.S. citizenship. Often these individuals are leaving jobs, family and relative stability for the unknown and a long road even after marriage to obtain citizenship. It smacks of a certain amount of ignorance, and certainly arrogance, that all of the people making such statements on this show (of whom there are many, each and every season) seem to jump to this default assumption that life anywhere else must be so substandard that all of these applicants are willing to do whatever it takes to get into the U.S. It also seems somewhat xenophobic. Of course there are applicants, even on the show, whose motives are suspect, but more often than not, it is the friends/family members with the automatic mistrust that come off in a worse light because of their apparent belief in the superiority of the U.S. over all other countries in the world and that those from other countries are not to be trusted.

[–] lauralizh 8 years ago

I'm currently going through the K1 process with my fiancé and the "green card" issue has never come up amongst our family and friends.

However, my fiancé and I have known each other the old fashioned way, in person, for over 23 years. Also, he's from England, and my work friends have jokingly said before, "Why go for a green card? The US is a step DOWN for him!"

I think it's easy to be suspicious - not because the US is some land of milk and honey, but because so many couples these days meet online, and through the K1 there is a requirement that you must have met in person within two years of filing the petition. In essence, many of these people are marrying someone they met online, and only spent a few days to a month with, in real life.

The government knows it too - because we had to prove an ongoing relationship when we first filed the petition in July. Photos together, chat logs, receipts, love letters, the whole gamut. For us, it was easy to convince the immigration officer because we have a two-decade history where the Internet only comes into play as an easier way to communicate versus hand written letters and expensive phone calls!

Even my fiancé said this morning that he wished we'd been questioned about why he's moving to the US and why I am not moving to England. Personally we think it would be interesting to hear people's answers. It's simply more practical for us to do it this way (and I have a child who is close to her father).

A lot of people, and I've even heard it said on the show, say "America, America, America...." and how "I'm leaving everything to be in America" or "I'm doing this to be in America" with no mention of the fiancé. My fiancé is leaving everything to be with ME, the "America" part is only a side effect. We'd rather do it the other way around but at the moment it's just not feasible.

That's just my two cents anyway. I think a lot of people, myself included, just raise an eyebrow when others meet briefly online, they're mismatched, they seem to not share common interests, etc., and the immigrant can only talk about "America."

If so many people didn't abuse the system, then the government wouldn't require as much proof as it does. It's easy to submit the proof, even for the opportunists, but I think it's just human nature to be skeptical in some cases.

[–] DocOfTheDead 8 years ago

what a great post!
All the best to you and him!

~~~~~~~~~~
I never finish anyth

[–] lauralizh 8 years ago

Thank you!

I only recently started watching this show and so far, it's not exactly an accurate representation of the process. Maybe it's explained better in other episodes?

The process begins months earlier when you originally file the petition to let the government know you want to sponsor an immigrant. You MUST already have met your fiancé in person, by this point, or your petition will be denied. With this "packet," you include as much evidence as you can to prove you are a legitimate couple, including letters from both parties stating under no uncertain terms that they WILL marry within 90 days of arrival in America. The K1 isn't a "try before you buy" visa. It's not a "see how
It goes for three months and make a decision." All of these couples, with the exception of Nicole and Azan have already explicitly told the government they WILL marry. (It appears N and A are in the process of meeting the requirement of having met in person within two years before they file the petition).

It takes a few months for the original petition to be approved by the USCIS officer who must be convinced the relationship is genuine. Ours took 46 days which is almost unheard of. For more couples, it takes at least two months or more!

Once approved, the case is kicked over to the foreign fiancé's local embassy where they must show up and attend a face-to-face interview. Again, they must prove to the consular officer that the relationship is genuine and the couple WILL marry within 90 days in the US. The interview takes place about 1-2 months after the original petition is approved - so this happens roughly 5 months or so after the original filing!

If the consular officer is convinced everything is on the up and up, the visa will be approved and issued. It's time to book the flight! Upon arrival in the US, the immigrant is again asked to confirm they WILL marry in 90 days.

So all of these couples on the show who are like, "Gee, I don't know if we're going to marry...." That's not what they've been telling the US government for six months or more! Then again, this is TV!

[–] citizenofdis 8 years ago

I think it is precisely what you have to give up to come to a foreign country that strikes many family/friends as suspicious, especially when the person in question is not exactly a catch (Nicole, Matt) or not a catch other than his money (Jorge).

That said, this season does not have wild mismatches wrt age like Dani/Mo or piano rental guy/Filipino chick (I forgot their names; are they still together).

[–] coolslowhand 8 years ago

Completely disagree. It depends on the context

If a Dr. from France spent a year in the United States for a fellowship, fell in love, and wanted to move here, only love would explain it, because they'd have to work so hard to be a Dr. In the states, leave a good job, family, etc all for love.

there is a great distinction between people who meet naturally and just happen to have different nationalities and people who actually seek out a person just from a particular place.

from what we have seen in this show, many of the marriages have been for green cards.
Examples: Filipina marries old man who wants prenup and her to promise no kids. Two young, attractive, practicing Moslems propose to very unattractive women with existing kids within a month of chatting. Woman talks about how it is her "dream" to live in america. Young "sexy chine" married older unattractive woman and starts sending her money back to his family while talking about eventually wanting to wirk.

All of these should set off red flags. It's ugly to assume everyone desperately wants to come live where you do, but foolish not to see some of
these situarions for what they are

The biggest tell is the fact that almost Al