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James Berardinelli review: out of **

posted 8 years ago by ebertfan92
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**
Ice Age: Collision Course (United States, 2016)
July 21, 2016
A movie review by James Berardinelli

Ice Age: Collision Course, the fifth installment in this lamentably long-lived animated franchise, is the last Ice Age movie I intend to see. In a way, this review is superfluous. That’s because Ice Age: Collision Course isn’t a movie. Oh, it’s projected on multiplex screens but it is, at best, an oversized, overbudgeted Saturday morning cartoon.

Younger kids will have fun with the movie. It’s in their wheelhouse. The juvenile jokes will amuse them and the braindead storyline won’t confuse them or hinder their ability to enjoy the subpar 3-D and cheapish animation. Adults - well, that’s another story. Admittedly, this isn’t made for people over the age of about 10. But most children need adult accompaniment to attend a movie and, in this case, the sacrificial lamb can add another thing to the list of “things I sacrificed to have kids.” I found the experience nearly unendurable and was fighting the urge to take a nap.

Finding Dory is still in theaters. So is The Secret Lives of Pets. Both have their flaws but they are real movies. Compared to them, Ice Age: Collision Course is an embarrassment. It’s a cash grab of the most crass kind, using the lure of familiar characters and a marketable name to fill 20th Century Fox’s coffers. The movie’s story doesn’t try to make sense because, well, what’s the point? We’re so deep in cartoonland here that all but the most rudimentary aspects of the narrative have been jettisoned. This is about wisecracking, anthropomorphic animals and disaster film clichés.

Everyone is back, which isn’t necessarily a good thing. The main Ice Age trio of Manny the Mammoth (voice of Ray Romano), Sid the Sloth (John Leguizamo), and Diego the Sabertooth Tiger (Denis Leary) were never that exciting to begin with and familiarity had not made the heart grow fonder. They are rejoined by Manny’s family - wife Ellie (Queen Latifa), grown-up daughter Peaches (Keke Palmer), and soon-to-be-son-in-law Julian (Adam Devine); Deigo’s wife, Shira (Jennifer Lopez); and Sid’s granny (Wanda Sykes). Simon Pegg’s Buck is also back, meaning that, aside from Julian, the only newcomers in chapter five are lesser figures like Neil deBuck Weasel (Neil deGrasse Tyson), Shangri Llama (Jesse Tyler Ferguson), and Brooke a.k.a. Sid’s overdue love interest (Jessie J).

Also returning, of course, is Scrat the Sabertooth Squirrel. This Wiley Coyote-inspired creature with bug eyes and a desperate love for acorns has been one of the high points of the Ice Age saga. Scrat’s segments, disconnected vignettes reminiscent of the old Looney Tunes shorts, have not only offered amusing interludes from the more staid activities of the speaking characters but have featured heavily in the marketing campaigns. This time, however, even Scrat is showing signs of becoming stale. In Collision Course, he’s chasing an acorn in outer space and on a space ship and the level of inventiveness and manic energy associated with his past exploits is missing.

After having faced global warming, dinosaurs, and continental drift, this time the prehistoric mammals are pitted against an extinction event asteroid. Determined to do to our furry friends what something similar did to the dinosaurs (at least those not enjoying life in their underground hidden world), this chunk of galactic debris is headed for Earth, forcing Peaches to postpone her wedding plans and Ellie to stop sniping at Manny for forgetting their anniversary. If a way can’t be found to divert the asteroid (where’s Bruce Willis when you need him?), there won’t be a sixth Ice Age film. (Go, asteroid, go!)

Although the trajectory of the Ice Age films hasn’t been consistently downward, Collision Course is the worst of the batch. With all due respect to co-directors Mike Thurmeier and Galen T. Chu (both of whom worked on earlier Ice Age films), this one feels not only obligatory but lazy. I understand that in today’s movie-making economy, lucrative productions must always have sequels. But there’s nothing that says the sequels have to be flat, lifeless, and creatively bankrupt. Disney and Dreamworks consistently churn out product that’s as enjoyable for someone age 40 as it is for someone age 4. No one will ever mistake Ice Age: Collision Course for one of those movies.

Ice Age: Collision Course (United States, 2016)
Director: Mike Thurmeier, Galen T. Chu
Cast: Ray Romano, John Leguizamo, Denis Leary, Queen Latifa, Keke Palmer, Jennifer Lopez, Wanda Sykes, Simon Pegg, Adam Devine
Screenplay: Michael J. Wilson and Michael Berg and Yoni Brenner, based on a story by Aubrey Solomon
Cinematography:
Music: John Debney
U.S. Distributor: 20th Century Fox
Run Time: 1:30
U.S. Release Date: 2016-07-22
MPAA Rating: "PG"
Genre: Animated
Subtitles: none
Theatrical Aspect Ratio: 2.35:1

RIP Roger Ebert
1942-2013

[–] ebertfan92 8 years ago

Bump

RIP Roger Ebert
1942-2013

[–] ebertfan92 7 years ago

Now, those other five titles I promised. Interestingly, none of these is an original property - three are sequels, one is a remake, and one is a remake/sequel combo.

Allegiant: Allegiant has earned my ire for three reasons. First, it’s not a very good film - not “get me out of this theater” bad but terribly mediocre and not all that interesting. Second, it’s the latest (and, please god, make it the last) instance of the third book of a trilogy needing (but not really) two movies for the adaptation. Thirdly, the movie was so badly bungled on every level that it appears the only way I’m going to be able to see how it all ends is to watch it on TV with all the major roles recast. Granted, this series has been in freefall but, after sitting through three movies, I feel I deserve a conclusion.

Ice Age: Collision Course: I’ve never been a fan of the Ice Age movies but this one seemed especially onerous to endure. Even the sabretooth squirrel, the best thing about the franchise, seemed tired. I’m not a great lover of mainstream animation and sitting through this one felt like some kind of studio-sponsored torture. The only vaguely satisfying thing about Ice Age: Collision Course is that the public has finally become as bored by these films as I am and I feel relatively confident I won’t have to endure another one.

Independence Day: Resurgence: When you wait two decades for a sequel, you expect something better than this. I thought the original Independence Day was mediocre so it seemed unlikely that the long-gestating follow-up was going to deliver anything memorable. But I wasn’t prepared for this level of epic ineptitude. The core problem is evident: there wasn’t a story. The philosophy seems to have been: get as many actors back as need a paycheck, throw some science fiction-y things on screen, and hope that nobody notices how little sense it all makes. That sounds just about right and explains why this movie pissed me off. Fortunately, Arrival came along a few months later to wash away the bad taste.

The Magnificent Seven: Unnecessary remakes of movies I like always irritate me. Unnecessary remakes of movies I like that defer using an iconic score until the end credits deserve a special place in hell. There wasn’t a thing in The Magnificent Seven that didn’t seem like a distant echo of better material from the ‘60s Western (which was in and of itself an inferior remake of The Seven Samurai) but to blatantly ignore one of the best-ever themes from any movie (until the end credits) is virtually unforgiveable. I doubt a lot of people feel the same way but this movie didn’t just disappoint me; it made me mad.

Star Trek Beyond: Okay, so I gave this **1/2 and that’s probably a fair rating. It’s not all that bad, especially if you’re not a long-time Star Trek fan. But, for me, this is the movie that killed Star Trek (something that had previously survived “Spock’s Brain”, The Final Frontier, Generations, and Nemesis). After this exercise in pointless mediocrity, I no longer have any desire to see any other Star Trek production regardless of whether it’s in movie theaters or on television. I’ll always adore what I have - material that was produced in the first 30 (or so) years of the program’s history. The most shocking thing about Star Trek Beyond is that, on the occasion of the franchise’s 50th anniversary, it managed only the weakest of nods to The Original Series - a publicity photograph from Star Trek V. That’s bullsh*t. The failure to do more felt like a slap in the face. I left this movie sunk in despondence. The body was already cold but, as we all know, it’s very cold in space.

RIP Roger Ebert
1942-2013

James Berardinelli review: ** out of ****

James Berardinelli review: out of **