Tom Hanks is every Regular American who ever does something heroic

What's his next heroic role going to be? He's already been a heroic airline pilot, a heroic ship captain, a heroic NASA mission commander, and a heroic Army officer. (I'm sure I'm missing more than a few heroic roles peppered throughout his heroically long career.)

If a heroic driver of a double-decker tourist bus heroically drives around for three heroic hours while terrorists bus-jack his tour bus tomorrow, Hanks will have the contract on the movie deal inked by tomorrow night, with him in the starring role of the heroic bus driver, of course.

If the heroic conductor of a Metro-North commuter train heroically applies the brakes on his train before reaching a damaged part of the track, thus heroically saving the lives of hundreds of commuters, Hanks will have his lackeys working on a script before the train stops, seasoning the story with a little extra drama by adding evil NTSB agents who are hell-bent on blaming the heroic Tom Hanks character.

"He was just a regular American who operated the go-karts at a Six Flags amusement park. But when terrorists hijack the bumper karts and demand that Taco Bell re-release the Cool Ranch flavored Doritos Locos Tacos, will he become the heroic hero needed to save the day? This summer, Tom Hanks is John Smith in the action-packed heroic summer blockbuster -- SMITH!"


Bigly.