It's time to plaaaaayyy...

100 things I learned from "Robocroc"!

1. Filming hot semi-naked chicks at the water park with your smartphone is very discreet and safe. They will only notice you are doing it if they happen to walk very close to you.

2. Late afternoon, when the sun is facing one side of your body, is a great time to go suntanning.

3. Only teenagers with hot bods visit water parks. Children and old people are not welcome.

4. Gigantic, super-heavy, mechanical crocodiles can easily sneak up on people without being noticed. Said crocodiles can even growl very loudly during this process, no human will be alerted by such noise.

5. The U.S. government is very famous for quitting it's operations and going home before locating and securing its highly classified and highly dangerous technologically advanced weapons.

6. The best way to NOT stop a gigantic mechanical super-croc is to jump on it's back and try to stab it with a knife. Try this on your toaster to verify that it does not work.

7. A "pig's chance in a piranha pond," and "What in a croc's cooch?" are common slurs among crocodile hunters.

8. When radio signals get jammed, they scream in pain and produce very loud high-pitched noises.

9. Additionally, jammed communications will heal over time.

10. A "no blast and no heat" EMP shockwave will knock human beings to the ground for a few minutes.

11. If a girl thanks you for saving her life by telling you that "WE couldn't have done it without you" AFTER all of her friends are dead, she may be a selfish bitch.

12. The U.S. government considers survival capability to be the most important protocol when testing robotic weaponry. Thus, all robotic weapons will immediately disregard this protocol and expose themselves for a chance to attack large numbers of people in broad daylight.

13. U.S. military helicopters will explode immediately if they are touched by a giant robotic crocodile.