Watching your loved one slowly deteriorate before your eyes or suddenly losing them?
I have gone through both scenarios and I must say, losing someone unexpectedly is the worst feeling ever. Not that watching them wither away is "better", but at least you get to make peace with them before they go. What do you think?
I think you are correct in that it would be harder losing someone suddenly than seeing them waste away, at least afterward. With losing them suddenly, you don't get to say goodbye or say the things you've always wanted to.
One thing to remember: even though you didn't get to say goodbye or make peace with them, the person most likely knew deep down how you felt already. But still, yes, more regret with this situation.
The other would be difficult to handle as well, but like you said, you can say those things you want to. Also, in most cases, the person can be on medications, sometimes copious amounts of medications, that take care of the pain and other things, though not all. In this case, though, you can say those things you want to. Either way, devastating.
A lesson to this? Always let the people you care about know that you care about them (even though they probably already know).
Sorry for your losses.
I think it's very subjective.
I've lost people both ways as well and in some instances I was glad they didn't have to suffer, but like you, with the ones who've died suddenly I wish I could of had a chance to say goodbye. One personal death that really shook me up was that of my pastor. Not to get too much into detail but preaching was his life, but he'd had to stop due to personal reasons. Him and his family left the church and a year later he was dead from suicide. It shook up everyone terribly because it was just so shocking. It took me a long time to heal from his death because I'd grown up in the church and he had become like a father figure to me and his two daughters (who are around my age) and myself were like sisters growing up. But yeah...in sudden death cases like suicide it hurts very much not to be able to say goodbye. It leaves you wondering so many hypothetical questions that can drive you nuts if you allow them to.
I've never fooled anyone. I've let people fool themselves.
they both suck. My mom died a slow horrible death. We saw that coming for years. So I was shocked when my dad actually died first. It was kind of sudden because it all happened within a few weeks. And then there's my nephew who committed suicide. That was sudden.
I can't say any one was worse than the others. I will say that my nephew's was the most tragic because he was so young and nobody expected that. I still miss my mom every day and am haunted by her last moments.