In the same scenario, would you want to know if your spouse cheated? By same scenario, I mean, she truly regrets it, ended it, and it was a one time deal. While watching this with my wife, I came to the conclusion that I would not want to know in that case. I don't really think it would help anything in that matter. Ignorance is bliss.
shareDamned if you damned if you don't....It would be better for him if he didn't know..but then she compounds the original mistake by continuing to lie.
shareI wouldn't want to know. She should've kept it to herself... But she wanted to be honest, and it can cost her her marriage. So people don't cheat! ?It's not worth it.
shareI would want to know. It's brutal as hell, but at least I would know the truth. A rare thing these days.
shareI'd want to know. I've always told my wife that if she cheated we'd be through. Personally there is no coming back from that. If she had feelings for someone else, I would want her to tell me so that we could figure out our next move.
Michelle ended up sleeping with David and then (not sure exactly how many days later) sleeps with Brett at the party. The fact that some other guy's pecker was in the very same place Brett's was at the party would be the end for me.
Now if she decided not tell Brett? You'd have to wonder what sort of person she was to be able to not disclose that information to her husband.
I mean, say what you like about the tenets of National Socialism, Dude, at least its an ethos.
Fascinating question, fascinating answers. Signs, I suppose, of a pretty layered, well acted show.
Further questions pop into my head, this post as as good as any other to tack onto.
Given the scenario: she had a single extra-marital affair; she ended it, and wants to move forward with renewed commitment.
She doesn't tell: they move on, as a family. No idea how long it lasts, but both are happier at this point than they have been for some time. (And yes, I'm ignoring the fact Michelle did tell the absurdly, erratic loose cannon that is Tina.)
She does tell: the marriage breaks up. Young children see the break up of their parents; both partners find themselves alone.
In which alternative are people, or for that matter, any individual, the happiest, or the least unhappy?
The visceral reaction to 'some other guy's pecker' being 'in the very same place' is also interesting. In a society that has largely moved to something that might be called 'serial monogamy', what's an acceptable interval of time, between, well, you know...
Let's face, at his age, Brett isn't likely going to find a spot that hasn't been, ahem, visited at some time in the past. How long is long enough?
Another good question is: Is Brett over-reacting; is his response proportional to the trauma he's experienced? I guess we'll have to keep watching to find out.
Apparently, dogs are wolves with Williams-Beuren Syndrome.
The problem with not telling him is a philosophical one...and it comes down to "What right do you have to make a large life decision for someone else?"
If you come down in the camp that you have that right then she never should tell.
Personally, I believe that there are some things so big that its a moral crime not to tell. As for what defines big....that's situational between the two people in the room.
Of course I'd want to know. That way I wouldn't have to waste anymore time.
shareThis is a good question, would you want to know.
I say: of course not, for 2 reasons.
1. As long as you don't know, in your reality it doesn't exist, therefor, there IS nothing to know.
2. By knowing you get damaged, by the hand of the other. Not constructive when you are on your way back to shared happiness.
Fortunatly, she told. That'll make stuff happen. And that scene with the build up and all, was great. It rivals the last scene of the final episode of season 1.
I tip my hat to the Duplass bros and the actors.
Yeah, like Schrödinger's cat :)
shareBut, like the cat, if you choose not to know, and that is known to your spouse, she is always both faithful and unfaithful.
This redefines trust in that relationship as well. It replaces actual trust with the facade of ingnorant indifference and the added bonus that if the spouse did cheat, they would have to live with the consequences alone, understanding that each gift of affection is given in such ignorance and is, therefore, ingenuine. This is corruption to the idea of marriage, which is two individuals supporting and looking out for one another. To say, I'd rather not know" is selfish. And even if you feel selfishness is justified following infidelity, it stands just as strongly in opposition to the idea of marriage. Also, this selfishness is present in the marriage before any infidelity as a warning to the spouse against cheating, theoretically making the infidelity, which is most commonly the initial infraction, the retaliatory infraction.
Michelle knew she couldn't accept his kindness when he said such nice things to her because if he didn't know what she had done, he didn't know to whom he was saying them.
Sex is tied so closely to love that monogamy is reasonable to marriage. But every marriage is different. Some marriages cannot survive if monogamy is a requirement. Telling a spouse that if they ever cheat, the marriage is over only tells them your affection for them has a limit and does more to damage the bond than enforce it.
Yes, yes, always want to know
shareI think I'd want to know because I hate the idea of being lied too for the rest of my marriage and, possibly, life.
I MIGHT be able to forgive them if they told me and truly regretted it and it was 1 time thing. I could see my issue being if I believe they really were telling me the whole truth. The truth behind the reason of their choice and the truth of the actual actions of their choice.
What if it was a really bad lay and that's why you're partner didn't continue with it. Or what if it was really the other person who didn't want to continue with the affair. Unless your spouse is VERY honest they are more than likely going to spin those scenarios to their favor. Or what if it really was an ongoing affair that they got bored of and 'found their way home' (as shows like to phrase it)
These are the things that would be going through my head and why I say MIGHT.
However, if I found out through some other means and not straight from the mouth of my lover ... well, I'd be much less likely to forgive.
I've thought about this, if my lover cheated could I forgive them and ask for a one time 'pass', you know. They cheated so now you can cheat, once.
I know, in my heart, this would not solve anything but likely make things worse.
However, another part of me feels that fair is fair and the partner deserves to suffer the same to understand to really not do it again because they actually know what it feels like.
With everything they had at stake - Michelle should not have told. She hated herself for cheating...the second it was done, she wanted him out of the bed. It was a mistake.
Her punishment was carrying around that guilt for the rest of her life...not telling anyone.
Once she told Tina...and other people started to know...yeah...that robs her husband of his dignity.
I can see both sides.
They were just getting back on track...and she blew it all up because she didn't want to hold on to that secret anymore. Another selfish decision by her. It's a weird show. It's not really funny...and now it's kinda depressing having to watch them interact.