right before he was about to propose...

Yeah, I didn't understand why she got all bent about that, either. If that was all he said, I can see how she thought he was being selfish and arrogant, but he followed it up with, "I think that says a lot about how great you are as a person." She was being kinda bitchy in that scene anyway, so maybe she was just looking for something to be angry about. /shrug

It was meant to show that he is arrogant and selfish.

Because he said like, not love. Early in the hotel scene she was trying to get him to actually say he loved and he couldn't actually say the words. And then not even there in that moment could he even say the words

This part weighed heavily on me. I have a lot to say, lol noone will probably read all this but there's so much subtext here and a lot more going on than people are noticing:


He was saying the right things, just really beautifully telling her why he loved her. Women need to hear the small things you love about us. What he was saying is literally what every woman in the world needs and wants to hear and know that the guy we love loves us for who we are no matter what, and loves the smallest things about us that noone else probably even notices. But then he completely ruined it, when he said "But what I like most is that you like me as much as I like you. That says a lot about someone's character."

Now, there's A LOT going on there. To her, that was basically saying, you are amazing, but the best thing about you is that you like me. And when he said that says a lot about someone's character---to her he is sounding like a complete narcissist. That can translate into, "If someone likes ME as much as I like them or like myself, they know what's up. Because I am the best thing since sliced bread."

He may have not meant it that way. Sometimes guys word things horribly. My guess is that while he DID bring the word back from love to like, showing he ultimately is incapable of LOVE because he subconsciously even in that moment of romance and pouring his heart out ended using the word like, which isn't good--which she did notice---he may have meant "Liking me as much as I like you shows a lot about someone's character" he may have meant "I am so analytical, and guarded, can be obnoxious and self righteous etc etc, so for you to PUT UP WITH ALL MY CRAP and actually like me, (showing huge insecurities) says a lot about you and our relationship" Now if that is what he meant which is what I think---even though he had some characteristics of a narcissist, he wasn't one completely. He was scared about being late to the wedding, he cared what people thought about him, and was extremely afraid of losing her, which shows insecurity and that is not a narcissist.

So, ultimately it makes sense, if I were her I would have gotten pissed off and walked away as well seeing everything he said in that last part was the opposite of what she wanted to hear. He brought it back to "like" he brought it back to it being about HIM, and not her or them. She knew in that moment all her worst fears about him and commitment and everything being about him and on his terms was definitely valid.


I didn't like him very much as a character but in that moment I did feel bad for him because I think he worded that last part incorrectly, and definitely is incapable of true love and trust. And that is just who he is. But that was his way of telling her he didn't want anyone else even if he couldn't express it the way she did. But for her it wasn't enough and I get that.


Noone wants to be in a relationship with someone who likes the fact that their partner loves them or likes him as much as they like/love us, and that being the thing he "likes" the most. That is the worst thing to "like" the most. The thing he should "love" the most are those small sweet things he was saying he "loved" (in his own way) which I think from him is infatuation and admiration and addiction, and the biggest thing he should "love" is what they bring out in each other and how she makes him feel from her being HER, not because she likes him back.


I don't know why this pulls me so much---but it was just so blatant. It was the perfect example and was very well written of what never to say to a woman, especially while proposing marriage, and something you should strive the opposite for when it comes to love. If you can't strive for the opposite of that or end up being able to LOVE and love everything more than the fact that they like or love you back (that's something that should just be known as a given at the beginning of your relationship) then you are not capable of having a solid, healthy, romantic loving equal relationship.

He has a different notion of love than she does. Like at the end, he says that relationships are basically finding someone who loves you as much as you love yourself. She disagrees. So when he says that he likes her because she likes him, that's just him saying he likes himself and not endearing at all.

As a person who has been in similar relationships, if you are proposing marriage to someone, doing it for the reason that "you like me" is not enough.
I love my fiancee even if she does not love me. The idea of loving someone because they like you, is a safe cop out. True love is scary. It is not being in control. There is no self. If you truly love the other person, you have nothing to do with it. That is the reason why she is so upset. Love is boundless, dirty, painful and raw. Love is a completely different function from the id. It is that lack of. No matter how crazy it may seem.