Why?

Alot of these posts raise the issue of why the women in these stories do not-so-smart things when the stalker starts harassing them. I remember a discussion on another BB about how women are taught by society and their families to be "nice". So when they find themselves in what initially just seems like an awkward situation, they don't know how to tell somebody to back off.
Example: Karen with her neighbor Carlito. She agreed to have coffee with him, even though she wasn't really interested. When he wanted her to come up to the apartment for the coffee instead of a diner, she went along even though she was uncomfortable because she didn't want to be rude. And when he started following her around, it took him throwing a rock through her window to drive her to forcefully saying, "LEAVE ME ALONE!" instead of just telling him she was busy and couldn't stop to talk.
Or Judy, who agreed to meet her harassing ex for a drive in the desert to "end things." And nearly wound up dead when he attacked her.
Or Jane the college student who, when she received a call from a fellow student she didn't know asking for a date, agreed to meet him in the lobby for a conversation.
Or the homeowner in "Garden Of Evil" who agreed to a date with her gardener, even though she had no interest in going out with him.
I remember somebody on a BB who ran self-defense classes and said the first lesson is to teach women that they have the right to say "NO!" when a situation doesn't feel right. And some women have trouble learning this.