Things I learned from Lifetime’s Non-Stop (Major Spoilers!)

Don’t read this if you want to watch the film. And, I actually thought for one of those moments when there’s nothing better on tv and you want to laugh, be entertained in a really odd way, this film works.

1. There’s a crazy British kid screaming at the professor guy you work for at a major party, and you then don’t recognize him on the plane. (See #5 for how this gets weirder).
2. There are only two flight attendants on a massive jet. And, one happens to be a moderately attractive dude who is a trust-fund baby who sculpts, but decided to be a flight attendant to show his family he can get a “real” job.
3. If the mean, quasi-drunk other flight attendant tells you to sit down and wait for the beverage cart service, go find another unattended station and help yourself to a Disani water bottle.
4. If you have anti-anxiety medication, sleeping medication, it’s a good idea to top them all off with additional extra-potent sleephead medication (‘cause it’s stronger when it’s made in Europe), and top it off with a whisky chaser.
5. Make out with the same British kid (see #1) who screamed at the professor ‘cause you are drugged out of your mind and “in the mood” and then he’s stupid enough to give you a huge hickey, but he supposedly doesn’t exist on the plane at all.
6. Whoever trained this chick (the heroine) in self-defense needs to set up a self-defense chain across the country. I’d sign up. She manages to take down every one of the bad guys singlehandedly.
7. In case you are carrying a top-secret manuscript (see Glenn Greenwald and Edward Snowden), make sure you a) only have the copy and it's in an unattended overhead compartment and b) don't back it up anywhere. And, be sure you are unaware that the gift (the locket) the professor gives you at the party where the Brit kid made the crazy scene, has the document on it in the top secret thumb drive inside the locket.
8. Wear the highest possible heels that you can barely walk in so that the knife-wielding Brit kid can trip on one of them, as you already tripped on them running away from him and slipped out of one of them, so he stabs himself.
9. Make sure you get bumped multiple times and get to take a nearly empty flight in first-class(and, what airline in today’s world flies that empty) so when you are running away from the angry drunk flight attendant there’s always an empty seat to sit in.

I could make it to number 10, but I want to read some more cray cray observations on the film

I actually recommend this film as it has to be seen to be believed. And, I didn’t even give away the TWIST!