Like one wang every 15 minutes? Something like that?
Depends on the size. One big wang every 15, or two little ones every 15?
Also, are we talking erect or flaccid? One average size erect wang every 15. If you want to throw in a monster wang, then no more wangs, big, small, erect, or flaccid for 20. But a small erect wang, and the next 15 is open if regulations are obeyed.
What about circumcised or not? Most agree that uncircumcised wangs are way cooler. (Do I presume too much?). But they're also more titillating, so perhaps only one uncircumcised wang every 20 minutes. But wait, what if it's a small uncircumcised wang? Flaccid. Well, then you got your 15 back. A small, uncircumcised -erect- wang? Should we allow that in the standard 15? Thoughts?
Perhaps someone has additional thoughts and comments. I think maybe they should just have a Non-Porn Film Industry Wang Committee to set standards. NPFIWC would be composed of writers, directors, producers, actors, and even fans, members of congress, and of course the Catholic church, who are experts in wangs, especially the small ones. They meet and set out standards of wang.
Those violating SOW (Standards of Wang) will be fined depending on the transgression. For example, if an erect uncircumcised wang is more than a millimeter beyond 15.494 centimeters with the window of the 15 standard as laid out by NPFIWC, then you're looking at a fine. If charges are filed, then NPFIWC would have to examine said wang fully erect, and measure with a standard SOW/NPFIWC approved laser measure. NPFIWC would meet again every 3 years to revise the SOW.
NPFIWC will have to set standards of color of wang, (are we talking about a soul pole, or just your average cracker wang? (Would classifying color violate racial equality laws?) Then other things will have to be regulated of course, vein density, curvature, upward pointing, or downward. All producers and directors, studio heads, etc. will be given a standard NPFIWC wall chart for SOW, with photos, sketches, pie charts, graphs, statistical analysis, etc.
What about a wang ejaculating, such as occurred in Stranger By The Lake? Well that's a pretty big deal. I'm stumped on that one. Any thoughts as to how that should be regulated in non-porn movies? That, ladies and gentlemen, is why I think we need NPFIWC.
Obviously, this is just a broad-brush sketch of the concept of SOW. If you're so inclined, feel free to contribute ideas for SOW.
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mrlpratt
8 years ago
Love it!! You're such an equal-opportunity wanger! You don't discriminate on the basis of size, shape, curve, texture, flaccidity or color of the wang! You're SO inclusive. Only wish Hollywood was so inclusive.
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I don't love you enough to hate you!
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cc-17798
8 years ago
I think violators of SOW ought to bend over backwards to show compliance.
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