Lights of one that's the sun...spoilers? can it be spoilt even more

Hey look at the strange weird light shining through the woods as we drive along. Why it almost looks like it could be the moon. Hello 911, the moon is trying to get us. We're all drunk fugitives having just been accused of selling our baby on the black market, btw do you know where we could score some shrooms. Oh no dude, it's an alien light look out. Now lets ignore the light out the back of the house and miss when it splits into 3 on camera. Lights of one, could be the moon, lights of three get the hell outa there. Boo Hoo I'm sad, boo hoo, my baby went missing, film me, I'm ready for my close-up Mr. DeMille. The Police are investigating but we all just left town like innocent people often do. Oh look we're in the woods for no reason. Why were you just floating in the bedroom? What's it like when you've got syphilis Jake? "My head hurts". It's a hundred and six miles to Chicago, we a got half a pack of cigarettes, a full tank of gas, it's dark and we're wearing sunglasses. OMG where the hell did you find this "found" footage. I don't think we're in Kansas any more. Cue Dust in the Wind playing on radio...No seriously dude none of this makes any sense. That Blair Witch has got a lot to answer for. Giggity!