Society will criticize a man for not looking after a child, but won't criticize a woman for showing the same disinterest.
They criticise the woman more quietly than they do the man, anyway. As an example, in general courts tend to favour the mother over the father in custody situations. Sometimes the father is much more fit to take care of the child and is by all means prepared to do so, but unless there's solid proof that the mother is at risk of endangering the child, the outcome won't change. This is definitely flawed and something that I hope will change. A child should be with whoever is going to take care of them, regardless of gender.
Now, why can't the man make the argument - If you didn't want a child, you should have kept your zipper up.
I agree. It takes two people to make a baby. Only one of those involved can carry that baby to term and give birth to it, which is why the decision of abortion is ultimately the woman's, but when it comes to making that baby in the first place, the onus is on both partners.
In regards to someone saying these types of double standards stem from feminism running rampant in society. I don't really believe that feminism has anything to do with it, and I'll tell you why. Feminism -- in its true meaning, and not all of the things that have unfortunately and wrongly been associated with it -- is a fairly new concept. The idea of a stay-at-home dad, or the idea that any man could be the sole individual to raise a child, is fairly new as well; for a long time men have been thought of as the main 'breadwinners', the more dominant figure in the household. On the other hand, women have been looked upon as caregivers, nurturers, and givers of life for a very long time, so a bias has been created -- though completely unfair and untrue in some cases -- that mothers are better parents than fathers, and that children favour them due to the stronger maternal connection first created in the womb.
As I said above, hopefully that point of view will change. I think small steps are already being taken in some aspects, as, for instance, some parts of the world recognise a gay couple's ability to raise a child (or children) without the involvement of a woman. And typical gender roles are slowly changing as there are more men staying at home while the woman works, instead of the opposite. Real feminists are happy about gender norms changing.
I am not a feminist, by the way, but I am an egalitarian.
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'Save me, Barry!'
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carthur27
9 years ago
some parts of the world recognise a gay couple's ability to raise a child (or children) without the involvement of a woman.
Don't confuse the laws of a country with the privately held opinions of the general population. I don't know any country where a majority of the people think gay men have an "ability to raise a child" that anywhere near approaches that of a heterosexual couple.
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bakerstreetdozen
9 years ago
Well, that's an obvious problem, and is very much relevant to what I said in my previous post.
By the way, with that statement that you quoted, I'm referring to both laws allowing gays to marry and adopt, as well as individual opinion on the matter.
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