Things I Learned in Midnight Special

1. Charisma-less National Sith Agency agents are easily thwarted by Light Force wielding younglings.
2. Lifelong sunshine deprivation will give you hynoptizing hallucinations of buildings sprouting like deformed vegetables all around, in addition to uber vandal powers.
3. The best way to survive a military road blockade is to run it down at high speed – soldiers don’t consider it life-threatening.
4. The US goobermint will spare no expense to hunt down Weapons of Grass Destruction.
5. You can bring down military satellites by shining bright lights at them
6. Extra-dimensional cults evolve phosphorescence to better conduct their acts of parasitic voyeurism and body snatching.
7. Cult membership will give you better tracking skillz than the combined might of all US 3-lettered agencies.
8. Driving while wearing night-vision equipment ensures there is no other traffic on the road.
9. Devotees will violate an unconscious angel if no-one is looking -- God is a forgiving entity of its adherents -- much like the all-seeing NSA, who is quite forgiving of major employee transgressions as long as it involves light bondage
10. If you glow in the dark, like radium on steroids, yo mama banged Spiderman.