MovieChat Forums > Ben-Hur (2016) Discussion > My new hollywood rule #1

My new hollywood rule #1


1. Never put dreadlocks on Morgan Freeman


We need to take back the movies.

Please pitch in with your hollywood rules.



We are the music are the music makers... we are the dreamers of dreams.

reply

2. An Irish accent must be spoken by an Irish actor or at least someone who has actually heard Irish people speak in real life. Watching Leprechauns or D'arby 'O Gill and the Little People doesn't count.

reply

It's Morgan fracking Freeman, he can do what ever the frack he wants.

reply

Eviscerate like 99% of all the directors, and use their guts to hang like 99% of all the screenwriters.

Put Michael Bay's head on a pike and position it in front of Mann's Chinese Theatre to act as a lesson to others.

Place Hemsworth brothers at the bottom of the Marianas Trench.

That's a good start, methinks.

reply

That is quite an elaborate and gruesome rule. It's in - who's next?

reply

Hire actors who can actually perform the fights in action scenes instead of having to use quick cuts and shakey camera work to hide it.

reply

You just leave the Hemsworth sisters alone, mmkay?

reply

The Helmsworths have sisters? The duece you say!

reply

Oh gawd aren't there enough of them already?

reply

Michael Bay is a better director that you give him credit for.
Now, if we are speaking about mumblecore hipsters and the Apatow dude, you are into something.

reply

You get MY vote.

Saw ONE commercial with 3 seconds of M.F. and lost all interest in the film. (What, Anthony Hopkins wasn't available? (J/K, but the "senior wise man" roles all seem to be divided among the two of them))

reply

They're making a mess out of everything they (Hollywood) do now.

reply

Don't shoe horn in some lame romance if it wasn't in the original.

reply

I thought the #1 rule was:

Make Morgan Freeman the voice of reason and the smartest person in the movie.

reply

That is correct. But they broke that rule and went rouge with silly insanity.
So these are triage rules to establish boundaries, preventing future mindless behavior.

reply

If Charlton Heston and Stephen Boyd are not available to film the chariot scene, THEN DON'T DO IT!!!

Laugh while you can, Monkey Boy!

reply

Horror Films Rule No. 1:
1. A horror film cannot have a happy ending.

Temporary Law:
No more ghost stories until further notice. (Since the creators of films seemingly have little idea of what makes a believable story, yet continue to saturate the genre with their failures, and since they have also failed to recognize and release on DVD all of the few good ghost stories, like for instance 'The Haunting of Julia' [1977]... then they obviously have completely abandoned the idea of fusing art into the business)

reply

Good one.

reply