MovieChat Forums > Crimson Peak (2015) Discussion > 100 things I learnt from Crimson Peak

100 things I learnt from Crimson Peak

posted 9 years ago by Nonobstant26
47 replies | jump to latest

1. If you (and your sister) seduce the daughter of a rich man for his money and decide to kill him because he opposes that union, don't do it subtly with poison - like we know you could have done since you tried to use it later on the daughter - ; kill him in a way that only the blindest men would believe in an accident. (sure, when you slip on a wet floor and hit a hard surface, your face totally looks like that afterwards)

2. If you intent to save the woman you love from her evil husband and sister-in-law's claws, and knowing they have already murdered in the past, go alone and don't take any arm to defend yourself. Just expect them to let you take her with you.

3. If you manage to put your hand on some money, use it for your machines instead of, you know, repairing the huge hole in the roof.

4. If you bring a new wife into your mansion, don't destruct the personal objects of your former wives, just hid them and hope she won't find them.

5. If you cheat on your wife with your sister while only some rooms away from your sleeping wife, don't lock the door, so that she can walk in on you two.

6. Tom Hiddleston has a perfect bubble butt.

[–] Nonobstant26 9 years ago

7. Apparently the huge gaping hole in the roof through which leaves and snow are constantly falling in the hall won't bother much your wife upon seeing the mansion for the first time.

8. If the man - you met just a few days ago and you are already madly in love with -humiliates you in front of the whole party and you're very angry at him, a brief 2-sentences explanation in a letter the morning after can change everything.

(yes I know it's not meant to be realistic, but let's play the game)

[–] tigress-62-531003 9 years ago

8. If the man - you met just a few days ago and you are already madly in love with -humiliates you in front of the whole party and you're very angry at him, a brief 2-sentences explanation in a letter the morning after can change everything.

I don't know, man. Love makes you blind. I don't find that unrealistic at all.

[–] 9 years ago

[deleted]

[–] MaynardMorrissey 9 years ago

9. Cheek bones are as easy to stab as a loaf of bread.

10. Even though there are no trees around, leaves will always fall through the hole in the roof. Always.

[–] glass_hopper 8 years ago

10. Even though there are no trees around, leaves will always fall through the hole in the roof. Always.

 Great observation! I didn't even notice that (because the plot holes were distracting).

"The dream is to keep surprising yourself, never mind the audience." - TH

[–] Tyler-A-Arse 8 years ago

10. Even though there are no trees around, leaves will always fall through the hole in the roof. Always.

Incredible, wasn't it.

[–] MissLolLol 8 years ago

11. Tom Hiddleston is ripped.

12. Incestuous hand shandys are always going to be a shocker.

[–] mystlzone 8 years ago

13. Comment omitted because of unlucky number.

14. Protagonist last name Cushing : Cushion
Antagonist last name Sharpe : Sharp

15. If you are a loving mother who comes back from the dead to warn her, the most convincing way is to scar her for life with the most hideous form you can take.

16. If you dug up some suspicious past about the kid chasing after your daughter, money will make the troubles all go away...

17. If you know you are gonna die anyway, might as well sign the dotted line and give your tormentors what they want.

[–] wlmp18-54-833246 8 years ago

18. You fall, hit your back on the stairs real bad, supposedly break your legs, and you can still run around like nothing happened

[–] blacknyellowsquid 8 years ago

15. If you are a loving mother who comes back from the dead to warn her, the most convincing way is to scar her for life with the most hideous form you can take.

Yeah what the hell was that all about? How could she even recognize that as her mom? Especially with Edith's set up of how...she didn't get a chance to do any final goodbyes to her mother, until the night her mother showed up... I thought it was going to be a nice scene. But nope. However creepy Tom was able to come out all (fairly) nice at the end and give that final goodbye. Whatev

[–] janus_keinaerts 8 years ago

In this movie, ghosts look like their decomposing bodies.
Hence the red ghosts in the red clay.
Hence Hiddleston's fairly untouched apparition.

The mom had been long gone and she'd died of black cholera. Whatever that may be.

[–] SPUNKY15 8 years ago

But Mrs. "Mother" Sharpe comming at Edith from the bathtub where was killed, was all red, even though according the newspaper Alan had they found her alone with the children after Lucille killed her. Even though they had no proof Lucille did it. They had her body, since they knew her head was split open, so Mrs. "Mother" Sharpe, therefore was never hidden in the clay vats, so why was she red???

[–] hal-9010 8 years ago

Please.... It is called Native American.

___________
** I am normally not a praying man, but if you are up there, please save me Superman **

[–] lcplthomasc 8 years ago

The one with the big hole in the front of the head I think was one of the ex Mrs Thomas sharpest. The mom always showed with the meat cleaver in her head. Just my guess though.

[–] scootergirl9988 8 years ago

A lot of wannabe comedians on the net but #13 is one of the funniest things I've read in a long time. Unlike most maybe you should quit your day job!

"Nothing is more ill bred than trying to steal the affections of someone else's dog."

[–] Jalee2808 8 years ago

19. If you need to get your hands on some lucrative brick-making clay, kill multiple heiresses to finance a wonderfully clanking machine to dig it up rather than waiting for it to seep to the top of the ground where it stains the snow blood red and all you would need to collect it would be a shovel.

[–] MrsBuckyBarnes 8 years ago

20. If you know that your sister in law is poisoning your tea, eat the porridge she gives you instead.

21. You can marry several different women and no one in your village will notice.

[–] mti-33553 8 years ago

22. The trick "your shoe lace is untied" or "look! behind you" works every time in the 1800s

23. the deal between siblings is that you can get married several times but cannot have sex.

[–] 8 years ago

[deleted]

[–] tenantennae 8 years ago

24.)When a guy says "I'm going to take a bath", he really means "I'm going to bang my sister all night long"

[–] Don_Cheech 8 years ago

25.) Its possible to pull a 7 inch knife out of your cheekbone and not scream like a maniac.

26.) Some women can assassinate you with the strength of Hulk Hogan and you cant do anything about it

27.) Dont call the police if you catch someone plotting to seduce and murder your child, all the while steal your wealth.

28.) Beware telling your incest sister shes a crazy bitch

29.) If youve been stabbed ... finish the job yourself ... (crickets)

30.) When escaping a horrifying mansion, dont forget to look for a coat... even if it has basically stopped snowing.

30 (PART 2) Dont just offer the girl youre saving from a horrifying mansion your coat instead of looking for another coat in a mansion you know nothing about that houses two people you are certain are homicidal.

31.) Stand extremely close to people you are proving to be guilty/insane.

32.) No laughter, good food, or resourcefulness occurs at Crimson Peak

[–] journalist1 8 years ago

33: Brits are just so evil.

Chanel N°3: "I heard that munching box is what killed Michael Douglas."

[–] superhiddensecret 8 years ago

34 - a man with such that number of people working in his home can be easily gotten by a woman in his home without a notice

35-a girl has only his father in her life and he suddenly dead can be marry and transfer all her life at once

36-the mad sister will let the keys that already told to give before availave

37 all the second half of any movie could turn into carton

[–] superhiddensecret 8 years ago

38- a sister can kill a wealthy man in his own house without making any of his people notice and could not make the same with his daughter in her abandand house only because waiting for her autograph

[–] superhiddensecret 8 years ago

39 - if you want to end a horro - fantasy - no direction movie .. you can easily make every body put a knife in everybody

[–] JJandS 8 years ago

41. All dad's should provide their daughters with a fancy ink pen for defense.

[–] Kandarr 8 years ago

42. When mothers die they can see your future, and they'll warn you about it in the scariest way possible.

43. It takes at least four encounters of being stalked by horrifying monsters before you tell anyone about it, or even act like it upset you in any way.

44. Morticians used to be so incompetent they couldn't tell when a mans head and face had been brutally bashed in repeatedly on a sink vs. falling down in the bathroom.

45. When you move into a house with no roof, dead flies and insects of all kinds strewn about, gross water, no real food, red moaning monster ghosts, and chests with other women's names on them on floors you're not allowed to be on, don't complain or question any of it. Not even once.

46. Whenever you enter into a confrontation, just say you feel sick.

[–] Tyler-A-Arse 8 years ago

45. When you move into a house with no roof, dead flies and insects of all kinds strewn about, gross water, no real food, red moaning monster ghosts, and chests with other women's names on them on floors you're not allowed to be on, don't complain or question any of it. Not even once.

Exactly. And a sister-in-law who is clearly "not right".

[–] dxben99 8 years ago

I have no idea what you're trying to say in points 34-38.