No Baddasses, No Showdown
Just 9-minutes into this …. 'film' (I hate using that word here) I had to grab a pad and pen to review this crap 'cos I knew how bad it was going to be right then. How? See below …
00-04 mins – 5 topless guys punch the air to crap music (director 'credit' but no 'actor' names)
04-09 mins – 'Jimmy' telling each 'character' “You're late, your room is upstairs” one after the other
09-16 mins – Promoter asks Jimmy what the fighters are like … fighters we haven't seen fight and she recruited them … shouldn't she have looked at them first?
16-18 mins – 2 guy lifting weights … no talk just crap music
21-23 mins – 2 guys in a jacuzzi
23-29 mins –guy showering … 'promoter' watching it on a monitor
29-30 mins – Jimmy being a pointless a-hole
30-33 mins – Promoter talks about managing their finances … before signing anyone OR seeing them fight … just light sparring 'workouts'
33-34 mins – 2 characters make a 'deal'
34-35 mins – 2 'characters' talk about … no idea
36-40 mins – 'Character' showing to crap music
40-41 mins – Lifting weights to crap music
41-42 mins – Promoter asks 'fighters' what their favourite finishing move is
42-48 mins – Light sparring montage to crap music (half speed strikes … but no one blocks)
48-52 mins – 'Character' showering to crap music
55-59 mins – 'Character' showering to crap music
64-66 mins – A 'fight' in which no shot are seen (WTF?)
67-70 mins – “You're my mother” 'twist'
70-71 mins – Winner asks a-hole Jimmy to train him
CREDITS
Not only did the 'writer' of this crap put his name on it … but there's a STORY BY credit. THERE IS NO STORY! WTF?
How does this guy keep getting money to make things like this?
He made SKELETONS in the 90's. THAT WAS GOOD. Good script, good camera work, good direction. He just needs a script with a story, good characters an decent dialogue … and to lose him obsession with having 25 minutes of guys walking around shirtless without purpose. Yes, you're gay, we know, stop making a big deal out of it.
Welcome back Mastershake_2015. How was prison?