the kiss was not cool

I would've definitely taken the kiss, but I agree with you. Not Cool.

I guess this is as good a place as any to mention how (unsurprisingly) wonderful Daniel Bruhl is in this. Tony's love for Alan is obvious in every frame but he never overplays it.

I agree. That was cruel. But the fact is that Tony knew perfectly well that it wasn't a personal rejection; that Adam was straight and nothing was possible between them but respect and shared goals. And he understood, as well, the relief and gratitude. So perhaps it was more an awkward reaction than a moral failing.

true, Tony seemed a bit shaken, (wonderful work of the actor!)

Can you blame him? The news was literally life altering.

I'm torn. I think we're supposed to see that though Tony is in love with him that their relationship has grown to a stable mutual love for one another rooted in trust and loyalty. Tony knows Adam is straight.

Still, this is something that a straight guy may never fully grasp. Adam probably set off a storm of emotions in Tony way beyond what he hoped too. But does that mean he shouldn't show him any affection just to spare his feelings? Its a tough call. I'm guessing Tony would prefer a close affectionate bond with Adam over an unaffectionate one.

There was absolutely nothing wrong with it at all. In fact, I could easily have expected the same thing to happen regardless of the character being gay. It is not uncommon in Europe for two men to kiss in celebration or even in a regular greeting. It only seems to be a problem in the US for some reason. I guess there is still a lot of sexual repression to overcome there. 😀