MovieChat Forums > The Fundamentals of Caring (2016) Discussion > Trevor's Mum

Trevor's Mum

posted 8 years ago by Jitterbug88
8 replies | jump to latest

I couldn't stand the character. First of all, I do the same kind of work that Paul Rudd's character does in the movie, and if I were to walk into a job I just got, having no experience, and then just have basic orders given to me with no real training or explanations...medications are especially important. Some people require their care givers to take training courses to learn how to administer them, because screwing meds up is a pretty big deal in this line of work. Basically, you would expect her to give him a day of proper training before she would just snap at him for being late and walk out the door, leaving her son in the care of someone who she is well aware has no clue what he's doing. Secondly, it bothered me that she laughed at Trevor's aftershave joke. What kind of person discourages their son from using the "r" word to describe himself, but laughs when he uses it against someone else? And during a job interview, no less. Real professional. Also, I found the way she responded to the news about Paul Rudd's son very cold, and unsympathetic. Basically telling him "I'm sorry your kid died, but if you think you're going to form a bond with my kid just because of that, then you're fired." Also, I fail to see how a person can think that allowing their terminally ill child to live the life that Trevor lived would be beneficial to their mental health in any way. I do understand the fear of something going wrong, but she was basically leaving him to die, slowly, cooped up in a safety bubble, rather than giving him a chance to live.

Yeah...I'd honestly probably walk out on day one from an employeer like that, unless I was absolutely desperate for work..which, he apparently was, but I'd still be looking for a better job, in the mean time.

[–] ed-scherer 8 years ago

I admire you for doing this kind of work and cannot imagine how difficult it must be. I didn't read the book - was it based on a true story? Just wondering if the characters were just fictions or representing an actual life experience and agree with you about the Jennifer Ehle character (who I like as an actress). Thank you for doing such important, giving, selfless work. People like you make the world a better and more compassionate place.

[–] Jitterbug88 8 years ago

Thanks, man. It is definitely challenging work, and it's not for everyone, but it's very gratifying. Personally, I've gotten so attached to the people I've cared for that it makes it all worth it, cause lord knows, it doesn't pay much. I've also had jobs where I've had to deal with teenagers and kids with behavior issues, so I could relate to this movie a lot. I could see the character (Trevor) growing on a person, over time, even if he was an enormous pain in the ass. Still, the scene where he faked choking in the van...I watched this with two friends, and they were both killing themselves laughing...I was fuming through the ears, because I was just imagining how angry I would be in a situation like that. I would have probably said "Well, I guess we're going home, since you can't behave like an adult!" but that's just me lol!

[–] ed-scherer 8 years ago

I am in complete agreement with you. I have a serious chronic illness that does not yet require a constant caregiver but sometimes I cannot get out of bed. The thing I focus on is expressing gratitude to anyone and everyone who has helped me out and not being bitter or acting out against those trying to help me. My sister in law flew out to the east coast from Seattle twice for 6 weeks at a time when I was so sick I could not climb the stairs and I loved her before but now she is my hero. I would never do such a thing as the mock choking or any other act that would frighten or worry those who have helped me from time to time and ALWAYS say thank you profusely. If I were in your shoes I probably would have turned the van around too! Again, thanks for doing the good work. You give a lot but if each of us just gave a little the world sure would be a better place in which to live. And having a disability or illness does not give one the unbridled right to be abusive. The actor who played the kid was also in a Netflix coming of age story called Red Oaks which reminded me of my own upbringing back when the earth was still cooling. He has a great American accent. Take care!

Best Regards
Ed S.

[–] mcolby-125-523976 8 years ago

I'm sorry you're so ill. I hope you get better soon. I just wanted to say I think the kid didn't appreciate his caregivers because 1. He probably has been sheltered his whole life and 2. It's very easy not to appreciate something or someone when you're not paying for it and you know if this one quits another one will just come in their place. It could have also been a way for the writers to show us how much he missed not having a father because if he was around his mother wouldn't have to work to support them.

[–] DangerManTX 8 years ago

I agree, I like Jennifer Ehle as an actress, this was not a great part for her. The mother was very shallow, totally cold, and lacked a dimension or two.

[–] ciocio-2 8 years ago

It's true that the character was shown in a bad light near the beginning, partly as a set-up, emphasizing the complexity and daunting nature of Trevor's meds regime. That sequence when she's over-quickly showing and telling Rudd's character about Trevor's care definitely makes her character look less caring than ideal. But, we do get a somewhat broader, more nuanced picture as things move on, and her warmth and love shine through, especially with Ms. Ehle's beautiful, expressive face.

Just make a movie that makes me care, one way or another. I'm open.

[–] gogumadonut 8 years ago

You've made some really good points ... I didn't much care for her character either. I guess the whole medication thing was meant to show just how difficult the job was going to be by overwhelming Ben (and the audience). Although I agree with you, she should have taken the time to show him properly.

[–] mcolby-125-523976 8 years ago

I don't think she was snapping at him for being late it was part of her lecture she has probably gave many times since she couldn't keep help. She said it in the same pitch, tone, way she said everything else.
I'm not a care giver but I thought the same thing. For someone she didn't want to hire for lack of experience she sure got over it quick going over everything in a minute. I would think even with an experienced person they would receive individual training for every new client, especially with someone who has so many things needed like Trevor did.