I wanted a stiff drink after watching this movie.

Was that the point?


Two thumbs up for showing and making us live (in tooooooo long a movie) the pain and pain and pain and pain and pain that Mullins suffered. Two thumbs up to the many, many people like him who want God so much it hurts because God is invisible and the business and religion of churchianity is all too visual.

I don't always like true stories because true life doesn't film very well sometimes and Rich Mullins had a dark tale. I will say this though, that script needed a rewrite and then another rewrite after that. I get the up down way of Mullin's life. But his up down down down down up down down down way of living was tedious to watch and actually started to make the entire room depressed. (was that the point? If so wow, that was powerful)

ONE SHOT of Mullin's praying in a field or on the side of the road was enough. It seemed he was having breakdown after breakdown after breakdown. And forgive me but his songs seemed to continue along with that tone. He sang, ran out broken down, next scene he does some dialogue, sings a song and breaks down. I get it. But after a while I was like Rich, I love you man but you need a good psychiatrist and some medicine. He himself said he suffered from being depressed as a kid.

But what ultimately irks me are the oxymorons....the faith is simple/not simple approach the hey come as a little child/ yet faith is an unknowable paradox type of reasoning and teaching. Again, it might have been intentional to show the different things Rich struggled with but it left us with little to no answers or conclusions.

When Rich says God is like a wild man????????? When he says something like if you get serious with God you better hold on, or rather let go.......I was almost angry. I was like WTF is he talking about? God is like a wild man??? It seems his broken relationship with his father continued in a semi-fractured identity problem with God. And I won't even comment on how icky it seems when small church pastors think they are capable to give seriously broken people therapy. But, at least it seemed in theory to help a bit in this case however.

I get it that he had his personal demons. I get it. I get the alcohol abuse. I get it. Ultimately I feel bad for the guy because he surrounded himself with people who clearly didn't believe the way he did and it only fed his darkness and sense of isolation.

I think a better ending would have been a Shindler's list kind of ending with people who have listened to Rich's music or been saved by his ministry putting stuff on HIS GRAVE to show that he wasn't alone in his pain after all. That the darkness he weathered through had a purpose and there was a light at the end for others. Instead it chose narration and a not exactly satisfying close. Oh well. It wasn't supposed to make me feel good anyway. This certainly wasn't a popcorn flick.

A dark, heavy handed approach to show the life of a troubled and LEGITIMATE follower of Jesus. But it actually just hammered in all the reasons why so many people have totally left the religion itself. And I know several people like Rich Mullins who have been ground up in the gears of religion. I am glad that Rich declared a loyalty to seeking Jesus instead of being simply religious. It is a choice that we all, even those who go to church every Sunday need to make. Am I really a follower of Jesus? Or just looking and acting religious? A sober yet important question.