MovieChat Forums > Crossbones (2014) Discussion > Black Sails is infantile; don't believe ...

Black Sails is infantile; don't believe the hype


Wow, I see that a lot of Black Sails fanboys are invading this board, insisting that everyone watch their show. Well, before you rush out and believe that Black Sails is some kind of masterpiece, prepare to be disappointed.

Make no mistake, Crossbones has its flaws. I'd rate it a 6/10. But just because it's not brilliant, it doesn't mean that Black Sails is a masterpiece. It's not. It's a juvenile, laughable borefest. If Crossbones is a 6/10, than Black Sails is a 4/10. In spite of boobs and bums, sweaty, lesbian sex, swarthy hunks dropping trou, and profanity being dropped with the frequency of a Tourette's Syndrome suffer, you'll be bored senseless by the pilot's glacial pacing and pretentious attempts at trying to come across as "sophisticated" and "intelligent."

Ironically, in spite of being more "mature", Black Sails feels even less authentic than Crossbones. Crossbones screws around with history a lot, but at least most everyone sounds and looks like people from the 18th century. On Black Sails you've got grown adults swearing like 14 year old mallrats, like "*beep* you!" and "Go *beep* yourself!" Wow, now there's some Emmy-award writing right there. This sure sounds like how people talked back in the 1700s, doesn't it?

The biggest joke of Black Sails, however, is that this is supposed to be a prequel to a CHILDREN'S BOOK. Can you imagine a prequel to, say, Pippi Longstocking filled with profanity and sex? Or The Wizard of Oz? I mean, seriously. But go figure, in this prequel, we've got people banging each other and people swearing like cursing is going out of style. And boobies. Lots and lots o' bouncing lesbian boobies.

Puhleeease!

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first off i haven't seen crossbones yet i came here to get a general sense of how good it was.

and second (don't stop reading just because you disagree, i promise to not flame war you i just want to explain rationally like an adult) Blacksails is a good show because it is adding realism to pirates in the fact that it takes place on an island that is home to pirates and smugglers and they of course were never the most mature of people

so let's tackle your problems with the show 1 by 1

1) okay so the constant sex scenes, you have lots of men who spend months out at sea and then they return to smugglers paradise where there is a whore house for them to spend there ill gotten gains, so yes there will be lots of sex and nudity that checks out with how it probably played out in real life(presuming there was a port like that for pirates)

2) the Foul Language, again pirates were not always the most mature people and in fact tended to be very violent and not so intelligent so cussing each other out would probably be common place and diplomatic discussions less so

3) prequel to a children's book, i think the point is it's supposed to be made for those children who are all grown up now and would like something more mature rated, also they probably saw the success of Game of thrones with the same amount of violence and sex and nudity and thought they needed that to be successful themselves

and finally 4) the pacing of the show(well you said pilot but i'll extend that to the whole first season) it is a bit slow and can get boring at times which is why i recommend just waiting till the end of each season and catching the whole thing at once so either program a DVR or download it or stream from someplace that has it because if you don't you might find yourself not watching the whole thing since it took most of the first season before they had their second ship to ship battle

now i think i'll check out the first 2 episodes of crossbones to see if it's any good

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first off i haven't seen crossbones yet i came here to get a general sense of how good it was.


It's not bad, but it's not great either. JMO, so you'll have to take it with a grain of salt.

okay so the constant sex scenes, you have lots of men who spend months out at sea and then they return to smugglers paradise where there is a whore house for them to spend there ill gotten gains, so yes there will be lots of sex and nudity that checks out with how it probably played out in real life(presuming there was a port like that for pirates
)

I wasn't so much hating on the sex scenes and nudity but making fun of the fact that Black Sails so incredibly boring in and of itself, that not even throwing in all this sex and nudity helps. The show could have orgies, swearing nonstop, and lesbians up the wazoo. Doesn't matter. It's still boring.

the Foul Language, again pirates were not always the most mature people and in fact tended to be very violent and not so intelligent so cussing each other out would probably be common place and diplomatic discussions less so


My problem with the swearing is that it's excessive (in a childish sort of way), and furthermore, doesn't reflect how people swore back in the 1700s. Have you seen the show, Salem? There's swearing in there as well, but there's very little of it and most of the it sounds more 18th century.

i think the point is it's supposed to be made for those children who are all grown up now and would like something more mature rated


It's not really made for those children at all. It was made for people who most likely never read the book growing up (or don't remember much of it) and don't care one way or the other about an MA-rated show being made out of a beloved children's classic. I'm an adult who read Treasure Island. I can't imagine anyone who read that book or saw the Disney movie as a kid or teenager needing a prequel filled with nudity and profanity. That's just... weird.

the pacing of the show(well you said pilot but i'll extend that to the whole first season) it is a bit slow and can get boring at times which is why i recommend just waiting till the end of each season and catching the whole thing at once so either program a DVR or download it or stream from someplace that has it because if you don't you might find yourself not watching the whole thing since it took most of the first season before they


I appreciate your devotion to the show, but I can't see myself watching the whole of season 1 unless I hear it through buzz that season 2 picks up considerably. If it picks up, I'll probably try to stream it, but if not, I'll probably pass.

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[deleted]

*goes to check out Salem*


Salem is really rough in the beginning but definitely picks up after episode 2. It's really gross, though, lol. I sometimes have to make a note of not eating anything while watching an episode, because it can get pretty vile at times.

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Actually, the "f word" goes back at least to Chaucer.

The Dude abides.

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I was so excited to see Black Sails - love the pirate genre, but then found it too boring. Didn't make it through the first season. I am trying to watch Crossbones, but have found the first couple episodes dull as well.

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I am trying to watch Crossbones, but have found the first couple episodes dull as well.


I don't find Crossbones so much as dull but lackluster. It's missing a certain spark.

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Black Sails is far more superior to this *beep* sorry.

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I beg to disagree.

Black Sails is entertaining in a "Spartacus" way with plenty of violence and sex. it also has ... some nice twists. Especially if you believe it is actually true as a prelude to "Treasure Island". But then everyone acts almost purposefully stupid ( pick the most stupid and inane thing to happen and it WILL happen) and almost all matters naval are handled without any reasonable thought
It has a glacial pace where it comes to the main storyline too.

"Crossbones" on the other hand is far less predictable, more true and faithful to real 17th century world and what I actually like most is more real with regard to matters maritime. And John Malkovitch is truly interesting as Blackbeard, as is Julian Sands as Jagger or Richard Coyle as Lowe. It is far more akin to "Rome" than to "Spartacus".
And most definitely it is not Swashbuckling pirates in the blathering Errol Flynn and Fairbanks tradition

Take your pick

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I'm just replying to myself to bump up this thread, as the Black Sails trolls are all flocking to this board now.

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atomicgirl, I totally agree with you.

Ignore the "blood and boobs" brigade. If a show isn't male and bleeding or female and topless they wonder "what's the point?" Watching a show based on a compelling narrative is beyond the scope of their reptilian-hind brains.

I just wish to god these cretins would keep to their side of the tv spectrum with their "porn and gore-fest" cable shows and leave the rest of us to watch the mainstream network shows in peace.

Happiness must be earned.

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I enjoy both black sails and crossbones. Apparently I'm not allowed to.

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