Is this the way people interact today?

sorry for your loss.

i had some of the same thoughts concerning the flick. the lead characters seemed way too old to be communicating (or miscommunicating) in such a way. immature. shallow. mean. yeah, 20-something stuff.

I, too, am sorry for your loss. I disagree with your perception that Albert and Eva seemed fake in the beginning of their relationship. I think a lot of early dating is exactly that bobbing and weaving until, if you're lucky, you kind of fall into that comfortable groove; it doesn't often happen quickly. I thought their initial meeting and dates seemed very realistic.

I was disappointed in Eva (who I liked) turned out to be so superficial that she allowed her overly exalted opinion of Marianne to sway her behavior toward Albert. We all make mistakes and it it hoped, learn from them, which Eva eventually did. I'm guessing they may have stayed together - maybe not forever - had Eva never met Marianne. She was too unsure of herself to be authentic in her feelings. It was too hard for her to think, or say, "I don't care what he looks like - he's a wonderful man".

I'm still in my early twenties and I think it's pretty accurate. I'm know I'm in the wrong age group but it seemed pretty realistic me, but of course my opinion should be taken with a grain of salt :) but I think if you are completely honest and totally yourself then I believe others will follow suit. They kinda have to, because you're challenging them to be themselves.

Please don't let your attitude toward re-entering the dating pool on this movie--or any movie, really. Movies are in a pretend world (even when based on real life) and real life is...well, this! LOL

You didn't ask for advice but I'll pass on a couple of thoughts I have on the subject and you can think about them, or ignore them, as you see fit. The first is, personally, I think you're absolutely on the right track when you say your idea is just being honest and being yourself. IMO, that's how everyone should be in relationships--friendships or dating. In my dating past, I once tried to be something that wasn't me because I hoped this person I started dating would like me better than if I was myself, and this man was a lot more stable and financially secure than anyone I had dated before. I had this stupid idea that if I could get together with someone like that, my life might be better, even if I had to pretend to be something I wasn't. What a dumbass thing to think. I probably don't need to say the thing didn't work out at all. The guy saw through my act PDQ, and my prediction was correct: he wasn't interested in the real me. Even though I didn't like him that much, it still hurt to be rejected. Ironic, huh?

I never made that mistake again. From then on, if I went out with someone, I showed my real self. It took time but eventually I met someone who really liked the real me--and I liked him too, partly because he seemed open, honest and direct. It takes real work and time to meet the right person, but when you do, I'm sure you will feel it was worth it.

The second thought I'll share is don't start dating too soon. You didn't say how long ago you lost your wife (condolences from me too--that really sucks), but if it's less than a year, I hope you will wait. Give yourself time to grieve and heal. I know you probably miss the companionship of a woman, and I know that must be hard. But if you jump into dating too soon, no good will come of it anyway, IMO. Believe it or not, there are worse things than being lonely and w/o a SO. Trying to force something to work when one's head isn't in the right place solely to keep from being alone can only lead to unhappiness. That's my POV anyway. When you're really ready, I think you'll know it.

The writer-director is in her 50s. I think some of the movie is realistic about how things go when people try to get back into the dating scene after a long time, and some of it is specific to these particular characters. Like you said, Eva was too easily swayed by Marianne's opinions of Albert, and not all women would be.

I do agree with you that being oneself works best, but at the same time, it's so hard to meet people at our age (I'm in my 50s too) so that when I do meet someone who seems promising, I am very nervous and probably too conscious about what kind of impression I'm making.

You must be the change you seek in the world. -- Gandhi

I'm very sorry for your loss.

As a twice divorced almost 40 year old mother, I've seen this type of dating scenario in the real world. It's always awkward in the beginning, as we age there's so much more to take into account. And Eva, yes, I've seen this immaturity. It is immature that she'd listen to the ex rather than her beau and her heart but that does happen. I myself have been filled with doubts. "If he was like that with her..." But ultimately I've had the maturity to understand no two people will interact the same. Eva hadn't made that discovery.
There are still good people in this world.

In my opinion, it was a fairly accurate portrayal of the awful 'first date' stuff that comes with dating as an adult. It's human nature. When you are young and dating, you are more relaxed and open. Your experience dating again maybe different from someone who is divorced. That was Eva's (lame) justification for trying to get the scoop on Albert. You desperately don't want to make the same mistake again. You want to think you learned something. "If I had only known THIS, maybe it would have turned out different!" So yes, it is like walking on eggshells. But everyone is different. Go watch Sleepless In Seattle or You've Got Mail. I wish you well!

I felt what you are talking about here, but this is my theory. Now mind you, I am in my 30's and I have been out of the dating world for almost 8 years, but I kind of had the same thought...."dear God, I hope I never get divorced or something because dating at that age looks scary".

Actually I have two theories. The first being, at their age, they think better. For instance when she backed away from Albert's kiss and said she wasn't sure. In my teens or twenties I probably would have kissed him despite not being sure I wanted to, just because I wouldn't want to make the situation awkward, make him feel bad, or even just voice my trepidation. But in my 40's after a divorce and a kid, I could see myself being more myself, which sometimes leads to things not running real smoothly, but it's more real.

My other theory, and this kind of contradicts my first, but I gathered that both of them were new to dating post divorce. I remember what a mess I was when I first started dating as a teen....so maybe getting back in the dating world after being out for so long is just as awkward and crazy as when you first started dating.

Not sure if any of this makes sense. I'm so sorry for your loss.