I also did not declare to the world I could not love a child that was not biologically mine. In fact I said I could adopt & love that child. What would bother me is the "union" of another man & my wife, the process it takes to get there & the feelings I would have towards my wife & her unborn child knowing it was conceived with another man. Don't even go there with rape, that is a vile and violent crime & the perpetrator of that crime against my wife (or daughter or sister, etc. ) would not live to see a trial...you are so quick to judge me because of my feelings when I never judged anyone for their actions, I simply posed the question to get other people's inputs. To me the creation of a human life is a highly emotionally connected event, one that should be done with one woman & one man because that union (marriage) is the highest union on earth. The complete commitment of two individuals to each other first & everyone else comes second. As a heard I wise woman say once, I love my kids but I love my husband first, the kids come into your life, find a spouse move away & have a family of their own (albeit connected to us) but my husband will always be with me & it is him I vowed to grow old with & it he with me. Besides if I don't love him, who will hahaha...
I guess my whole point behind all of my thoughts is that a marriage is not just about creating kids, so if you can't conceive, you still have each other & you can both choose to adopt a poor lost child that needs two parents to care for and nurture it. You can argue I am being selfish if I don't want my wife to get "donor" sperm, but just as God is a jealous God...so am I, I chose one woman to live my entire life with, devoted, loving, caring & protecting...& to dilute that by bringing another person into that union is to me desecration of that two becomes one union. I would not want to make my wife feel bad if she did not have viable eggs, she is still the most beautiful & amazing woman I have ever met and I would be most happy raising a child we BOTH "chose" to take into out lives and love rather than have one that was only 1/2 biologically connected to us, and where another man could one day be introduced as the "father" of my child. Again to me this dilutes that first and foremost union between a man & a woman, because you have now brought in a third person as part of that 2 becomes 1 union. The proverbial third wheel if you will. How would you like that if you were dating and this other guy (or gal) always tagged along because they were the one your spouse was going to get pregnant with... As you can tell I would make an awful polygamist!!! I stil believe in total devotion between one man & one woman...I never could date more than one person @a time, because I felt that one person deserved my undivided attention, if they did not get that then they were not the one for me...but hey, that is just me. My better half can always know there is no other for me, I stopped looking the first time I kissed her & have never kissed another since (or wanted to)...and I certainly would not want my DNA inside some other woman. I am afraid of the feelings of obligation I would have & that would in turn take away from my total devotion to the woman I am so deeply in love with...okay, sorry for the novel on marriage according to me...
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