Why he cheated

He's too big of a pu$$y to talk to his wife about it instead. Cheating is never the answer. Address your concerns with your spouse and/or get out.

He was right to cheat. She had totally emasculated him, and got her just desserts.

She wanted to have everything and everyone cowering to her 'career'. Life doesn't work that way.

I have a few thoughts:

First, typically movies portray cheating where the cheater gets caught, and only then, shows remorse. It was kind of a breath of fresh air for the husband to come clean before his affair was exposed, because he truly felt awful for betraying his wife and because he doesn't want her to give up control of her company.

Second, let me preface this by saying I have not ever cheated, nor been cheated on. So I have no personal experience. And I have always said that cheating was a deal breaker for me. BUT, now being so invested in my marriage and family with two children, I now think that, depending on the circumstances, I wouldn't necessarily say that I'd 100% be out the door if my husband cheated. If it happened like in the movie, I would probably try to stay and make it work. Because he confessed (without knowing his wife already knew), showed genuine remorse, and ended the affair, I can see why Jules decided to stay with him. Especially when a child is involved. I would have a condition though: marriage counseling to work on communication and building trust back and then solo counseling so he could work on whatever led him to stray.

Thirdly, I don't see or have any knowledge of people giving women a pass for cheating. If anything, I've heard cheating men be given excuses, like "men aren't made to be monogamous" or "boys will be boys" or "men are weak when it comes to temptation". But if a woman cheats, she's a "whore" or "slut", according to those same people. So a double standard does exist but not in the way you're saying. How many times has a man cheated but instead of going after him, the one who broke his vows and disrespected his wife and family, the scorned wife goes after the "homewrecker"?? The other woman didn't wreck anything. The husband did by deciding to cheat. She doesn't owe the family anything, he is the one who promised to be faithful. If she knew about his wife, then she should have stayed away, but ultimately, the fault lies with the husband for cheating, and therefore any anger should be directed at him.

I have left a girl over a similar situation as these two (Ive seen what cheating does in these situations growing up so even at my weakest that wasn't an option but I understand the impulse as I had a few moments of temptation during) . Its not about the loneliness its priorities. Some people treat their relationship like its something to do when the important stuff isn't happening. Its not the busyness its the lack of effort on the persons part to keep a connection. There's an old saying that goes "if they care enough about you they will find time for you no matter how small". As a person that *beep* can tear your self esteem apart. You start to build it up in your mind that "they are already moving themself out the door, I guess I should start doing the same". That's how cheating happens. Of course the biggest problems in these situations is no one talks about it. But that also leads to another fear, the fear of making the unknown known. Bringing it up might put your relationship in the fast lane to going out the door and maybe your not ready for that just yet so you start preparing yourself for the breakup long before it actually happens. No one that's experienced true heartbreak wants to go through that so quick so if we can we will start to emotional kill our connection to the person so that when they leave the loss wont hit us so hard (finding someone else to invest in is generally one of the options). A lot of times its premature.

You see its not so much about cheating but mind games people play on eachother. One thing Ive noticed is that the more emotionally fragile the person is the more likely they are to do stuff like the husband. Of course some people just don't give a *beep* and want to *beep* something.

that end of the storyline had me sick. I lived it, although neither of us were stay-at-home.



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It's not my job to tell you what you want. It's my job to tell the truth.

From personal experience, a couple I know, the husband had to go on long business trips, staying out of state with a group of people. 8 years ago he became physically involved with a woman in his working group, over the course of a few months when they were working closely together. This intimate connection continued long distance when he got home, with plans for getting together in the future.
When the wife finally figured out what was going on she confronted him. After a few denials he admitted to everything and was very sorry, assured her it wouldn't happen again, and begged to stay together, he would make the changes needed to make sure he wouldn't repeat this. She at first demanded he move out, to go to another house they owned, but after a few days of angry scenes, she decided to give it another chance instead of separating.
He came through on his promises. It took a couple of years for her to stop feeling really emotional about it, but they have actually had a much better and deeper relationship since then. He learned a lesson and is very much more committed to the marriage than before, and has actually gotten rid of the insecurities that caused him to seek out the cheating relationship in the first place. Prayer on the part of both people made a big difference, too, they felt.
I thought of their example when Anne Hathaway's husband made his speech to her, and I was glad she gave it another chance.
HOWEVER, repeated infidelity would be another thing. Some people learn an important lesson, make changes, and go on to a better, stronger marriage. Other people don't and keep repeating the same behavior.

The fact that his wife was "too busy" does not justify his cheating. If he didn't feel as if he and his wife were getting the proper amount of time together, then he could/should have confronted her about it. He's her husband. It shouldn't be a hard thing to do.

Hope changes everything.

OT but that husband was cringy af