Things I Learned From American Terror
1) It's OK to take a nap while escaping a sadistic serial killer.
2) Short chicks with huge boobies are hot.
3) It's completely normal to act surprised when the sadistic serial killer repeatedly attacks you after you repeatedly chose not to kill him when you had the opportunity(ies).
4) It's a bad idea to be overly chatty while being held by a sadistic serial killer.
5) Woody Woodpecker is erotic.