20. There really are worse ways to spend a couple of hours than experimental surgery by a drunken doctor with a rusty penknife.
21. If I were Matthew Modine, I would feed my appearance fee into a shredder in disgust, change my name and get plastic surgery so that nobody would recognise me, then kill everybody who ever found out who I really was. Then kill myself once I found out how impossible it was, leaving a will demanding that my ashes be mixed into landfill flooded with fuming nitric acid, then bombed with napalm, them with a fuel-air bomb, then nuked. Then by a cobalt bomb to guarantee a) that nobody would talk about it and b) people who had wasted two hours of their sorry lives on this dreck would be put out of their misery.
22. No other film ever, including "Batman and Robin" and "The Phantom Menace" has ever had anything like this garbage on my life.
23. And I normally find "Things I Learned Watching..." threads amusing.
The restitution of life is no great feat. A variety of deaths may well enter into your punishment
24. You can push-start a truck by popping the clutch when it has an automatic transmission.