What I Learned from Watching This Movie
1. Federal officials can be bribed with belt buckles.
2. The screening process for small-town deputies does not exclude candidates for frequent panic attacks.
3. Almost blowing up your own miners will not result in a UMW chapter being started at your mine.
4. The ideal place to set up a gold-buying operation is in the middle of nowhere far outside of town.
5. The Boss Hogg school of overacting when playing movie villains still has its adherents today.
6. Billy Butler is on every channel.
7. Don't bust your old elementary school teacher for speeding. She'll reduce you to a panic attack by taunting you.
8. Retired elementary school teachers can fire off 2-3 shots from a .357 on their front porch and no one will call the cops until their body is found on the porch the next day by the paperboy.
9. Paperboys go onto the front porch instead of flinging the papers from the street at they ride by.
10. A dead body that was hanging over the seat in the backhoe will have moved to beside the seat by the time the sheriff has finished yelling at the deputy.
11. It's perfectly acceptable to speak English to someone you believe doesn't speak English - because, in reality, they've been speaking English since before you were born.
12. History is written by the ones that lived, not the ones that died.