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White Woman with a Graduate Degree Experiences First World Problems


To deal with her mom's death, Strayed goes on a hike of over a thousand miles to get in touch with her inner self. How wonderful.

When my Mom died (on a Friday) I was back at work 48 hours a week the next Tuesday because I had a wife and three month old daughter dependent on me. When my Grandmother (Mom's mother) had died five years earlier, Mom was back at work teaching a few days later because she had responsibilities.

I'm hardly jealous of White people (and I'm White, too) who respond to situations like this with acts of prolonged navel gazing. But I keep thinking about Cher's wise words to Nicolas Cage in MOONSTRUCK when she slapped him into the middle of next week and told him, "Snap out of it."

Anyone who's interested, here's how it works:
1. Suck in your gut.
2. Put your head down.
3. Tuck the ball under your arm.
4. Run like hell.
5. If somebody knocks you down, get up and repeat steps 1-4.

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My sympathy for your loss.

And, I agree with you.

Have you read the book? I could hardly stomach it. Many people are dealt some hard blows even early on in life. Most people experience loss by the time they are into young adulthood. Everyone deals with the above in different ways. But to put oneself into harm's way and be so ignorant as to attempt a long, arduous trek without proper experience, preparation, or gear is self indulgence boring on mental illness.

I went to graduate school with a student from Africa who told us of his "exodus," his long walk across barren land at the age of 10, separated from his family as he was fled a civil war in his homeland. He walked all day everyday, along with a small group of children, drinking water whenever they could find it and eating leaves from the plants they came across. It took them 40 days and when they arrived in a refuge camp, they were all but starved. He said that they found their strength from thinking of their parents and siblings who had sent them on in order that they survive. THIS is a story of physical courage and moral transformation.



It's not what a movie is about, it's how it is about it. RIP Roger Ebert

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Everyone suffers differently. How we feel and deal with it is informed by are life experiences and mental capabilities. Just because one person suffers greater tragedies or more obstacles does not lessen someone's who has not. By deriding the way someone deals with their problems just makes you come off as a bit of an ass.

Fact: 87.3% of IMDB users belong to the secret society of cynics.

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^ This. White people have problems just like every other race. Are they expected to sit around and not have feelings because there are people in the world worse off than they are? Tragedy is relative and personal, no matter what it entails.

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Everyone suffers differently. How we feel and deal with it is informed by are life experiences and mental capabilities. Just because one person suffers greater tragedies or more obstacles does not lessen someone's who has not. By deriding the way someone deals with their problems just makes you come off as a bit of an ass.


couldn't have say it better my self, great reply !

I'm not mad, I just been in a very bad mood for the last 14 years

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How we feel and deal with it is informed by are life experiences and mental capabilities. Just because one person suffers greater tragedies or more obstacles does not lessen someone's who has not.


Actually, it is indicative of someone's character and strength if they allow themselves to be defeated so easily and are unable to cope with something others deal with on a daily basis. I have seen many people lose their minds over small obstacles in life and my response to them is always:

http://38.media.tumblr.com/bbe1651558dff3c945c0a4fa76f5ba98/tumblr_mk1ermiEdo1qja3x0o1_400.gif

"Some people have war in their countries."

Losing your mother is certainly hard, but it is simply nature running its course. You have to detach yourself from your emotions and realize that keeping someone alive and in pain for a purpose which exclusively serves you is selfish. Cheryl was an adult when she lost her mother to a terminal illness and had the luxury of spending time with her before death. Other people have lost their parents suddenly at much younger ages and have coped better than she did.

Try to think outside of your own existence for once and stop with the self-pitying.

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[deleted]

Did it occur to you that some people have depression or bipolar disorder which makes things different for them? For them the death of a parent is much different than to you. And that's a flaw in chemistry not character. The idea that it's character is what stigmatizes mental illness, and ought to be avoided.

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Fact: 87.3% of IMDB users belong to the secret society of cynics.

Did you know that 62.8% of statistics are made up? That includes both mine and yours.

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So you supposedly went back to work. Ok. Good for you, I guess. Instead of going on a hike or trip you went back to work. How wonderful. See how that works...

That doesn't have anything to do with how other people deal with family death, bad circumstances, or life in general. You bringing up your responsibilities and children and bitching about "prolonged navel gazing"(ha)just makes you sound jealous that other people have the time, resources or balls to go do a little soul searching.

Starting with the attention-seeking "white woman" and "first world problems" line is pretty cliché and ridiculous as if you are somehow calling her out on imaginary privileges that would override natural human grief. If something happened to your wife and daughter, whether you went right back to work(you warrior, you) or on a big introspective journey-shouldn't be a concern of anyone else's. Who really needs to snap out of it, hmm...

Rufio! Rufio! Ru-Fi-OOOOOOOOOOOOOh!

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Supposedly went back to work? Is there something in his statement that makes you doubt the truthfulness?

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I'm just expressing my opinion.

You may all go to hell, and I will go to Texas.

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I don't think that's fair at all. And I don't see why its a problem that she did this. I think its quite brave to do something like this. So she reacted badly to her mother's death, it happens. Nobody reacts the same way and that's perfectly fine. Every person is different and every person handles tragedy different. You don't really have the right to berate another person on their life, their handling of tragedy and the choices they make for themselves. Everyone has the right to live life the way they think is best and handle things the way that they handle things.

Wouldn't you be pissed if someone criticized you for how you dealt with it? Maybe someone thought you went back too soon, maybe people could say you didn't care (which I am sure you did care, so I'm not saying that AT ALL). But no one should be able to tell you how to grieve. And you shouldn't be able to tell anyone else how they should grieve. That's just not okay.

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Only 48 hours a week? Try 72 hours a week.

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[deleted]

I think it's more accurate to say: Yuppie problems

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Yuppie problems?
This woman was very poor. They had no money. She waitressed to earn money and saved to do this.
She wasn't a woman who had to support kids, so saying "I kept working when my mom died - So what? You had a kid.
Not the same.
She was like, 20 when her mom died.
Her life was not like ours growing up - she didn't have a bathroom when she was growing up - for Pete's sake.

And Last - and Most important, none of you could have done what she did.
NONE of you.

And you never will - so, you have nothing to be proud of - except that you're all ordinary. and boring.

Congrats.

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I just finished the book a few minutes ago and I completely agree with you. It makes me sick when people post opinions about things that know nothing about. Thanks for your post.

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One:
I totally agree with what you wrote. I did a translation of excerpts from her book recently and I am still impressed by her survival instincts and strategies, especially in the face of how ill-equipped she was in every aspect that mattered: no self-esteem, no help or advice for her problems (addiction, self-loathing), no money, no knowledge of outdoor techniques, no experience - virtually everything of which one would see as a requirement in what she attempted to do.


Two:

... except that you're all ordinary. and boring.

This made me chuckle because I take it as a direct quote from "Sherlock" - it was, wasn't it? Please say yes, this would make my day.



______________________________________________
I want the Daily Poll back on the imdb homepage.

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And Last - and Most important, none of you could have done what she did.
NONE of you.


I hiked the entire Trans Canada Trail from St. John's to Vancouver. It took me about 4 years. No, there's no book, I didn't think to write one. Hiking isn't particularly hard. It's like walking, only much longer. So saying that no one could do what she did, is suffice to say, inaccurate.

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She had a kid, too, and then she had it killed. So you're really going to denigrate that guy for taking care of his child, his responsibility, and praise someone who chose to hit the "reset button" and have theirs murdered because they couldn't handle it? Are you serious right now? You know what's harder than walking a few miles (and skipping all of the hard trails, mind you, as well as not walking nearly the whole thing while 4 other women do just that that same year)? Raising a child. Making a marriage work. Don't try to paint her as a hero when she's not. The OP is the real hero here. Taking care of his responsibilities and doing what's right, not running (or in her case, walking) away from them.

You also make a ton of assumptions in your post. You say, "Her life was not like ours growing up," as if you know for a fact that everyone here grew up with a silver spoon in their mouth when that couldn't be further from the truth. I personally grew up poor myself and just so happen to have friends who grew up in pretty much the exact SAME predicament as them (mine was worse). My best friend's sister was a waitress who also grew up dirt poor with daddy gone. She got kicked out of school and was going no where. Guess what? She went back, now has two Master's Degrees and was an intern at the White House. Now, that's drive and determination.

There are people on this very forum who have done what she did (which isn't much) and more. Did you even research what she did or are you just assuming (once again)? She skipped most of the trail, skipped all the hard parts, constantly had people do things for her, help her, drive her, take her in. Did you even watch the movie or read the book, never-mind doing the research? A good moment in the movie that hammers the point home is the part where that guy brought her coffee and a doughnut in the morning and told her to come get a refill when she was leaving. The guys sitting right there said how they never get anything from anybody and had to do everything themselves, which couldn't be closer to the truth. She really was treated like royalty out there and other men (AND women) had it a lot harder.

Now, back to my friend who also grew up poor (but not as poor as me) with papa gone. Saying this guy couldn't do what she did is an absolute joke. He did cross country and track in high school (I did, too) and routinely ran for miles upon miles up mountains, etc. He was one of the fastest runners we had (we won State, BTW) and all throughout life he had a never say die mentality. Never gave up. One of the strongest spirits you would ever encounter (vastly stronger than the person in this movie). He's now in the military and always scores one of the highest in their PT tests. He actually has to hike "for real" when he's on tour in the blazing heat actual deserts while wearing much heavier equipment in the Middle East. But no, this guy couldn't do what she did, right? And I couldn't either, even though I used to beat him when we actually had to run miles (not walk). He now does marathons now, too, along with his wife who is one of the least athletic/weakest spirits you could meet, who always walks very slow during them. But no, no "normal" person could do what she did even though what she did isn't particularly challenging and even though even weaker people than her do MUCH more arduous tasks than her no problem.

IMDB Wild board, where walking a few miles a day while receiving as much help as you can possibility get and skipping most of the trail as well as all of the hard parts is praiseworthy. While other normal people (both men AND women) walk that exact same trail, don't receive any help and don't skip any of the hard parts are swept under he rug.

What a joke.

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tl;dr

But taking a Plan B (emergency contraception) to terminate a VERY early pregnancy is not murder.

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You're the pathetic author and I claim my tenner.

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[deleted]

When my mother died, I went back to work right away and then four years later when my dad died, I went to work soon after the funeral too. But I don't begrudge Cheryl Strayed from taking her journey and sharing it by writing a book about the experience. She did not leave for her trip the next day, she saved up by waiting on tables and made the trip a few years later.

Clearly you didn't read the damn book because Cheryl Strayed did not have a graduate degree; she left college before she finished her undergraduate degree to take care of her dying mother. She grew up poor and had you read the book you would have seen how that helped her through hiking over 1,100 with very little money. I'm sorry your mother died and you weren't able to take a journey similar journey to the author's. But that's not her fault and what Cheryl Strayed did was nothing short of amazing. She also sucked in her guy, put her head down, tucked the "ball" under her arm, and hiked 1,100 miles and once she even ran.

If you can't appreciate something from another person's perspective I truly feel sorry for you. Unless of course you're juar jealous and in that case get over it. Try reading the book before posting because it only makes you seem bitter and uninformed.

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You're "hardly jealous" you say as you go about your rant...

Thou doth protest too much, me thinks.

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She lost her mother and she was dirt poor. Her father abused and neglected her. These are first world problems?

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