MovieChat Forums > La vie d'Adèle (2013) Discussion > Ole Cheatin' Emma

Ole Cheatin' Emma

posted 9 years ago by beauty2178-1
28 replies | jump to latest

First off, I have to say this movie was incredibly sad - so much so that I even shed a few tears towards the end. I think both actresses did a fantastic job in this film. Second, I watched this film twice with a bit of time passing between both viewings. The first time I saw this as is without subtitles, pondered it without having any knowledge of the French language whatsoever, then again with English subtitles. Although during the first viewing I had no clue what was being said specifically, I was able to grasp the general feeling of what was happening while also being able to focuses on the actors faces and their settings capturing the details of their expressions and emotions - something that can't fully be done while reading subtitles (at least not for me). The second viewing allowed me to completely comprehend all dialogue between the actors and then being able to put that together with what I perceived in the first viewing. After all of that I can say that I thoroughly enjoyed this movie and did not even notice how long it was. Naturally, I found myself coming to the boards here to see what other commentors were saying about this film. I see alot of dispute as to whether or not Emma actually cheated on Adele and my two cents is that she did, and here's why:

In the scene where they meet in the lesbian bar, Emma is flirting with Adele - using her eyes, her body language, her tone of voice even. Focusing on the body language, the way she leans into Adele's ear to speak to her as if the music is too loud, which it probably is, but still in a flirtatious manner nonetheless, especially considering that Emma is with Sabine. Fast forward to the scene where Adele has the party for Emma and we're introduced to Lise, Emma uses the same flirtatious body language towards Lise that she did in the bar scene when she met Adele - even the leaning in to speak into Lise's ear. I found it rather disrespectful of Emma to behave that way in front of her girlfriend but that's realistic, I have seen that type of behavior plenty of times. And, it's not like Emma hasn't displayed that type of behavior before while being in a relationship, as just mentioned when she met Adele.

Later that night Adele tries to have sex with Emma and Emma seems completely uninterested, saying she has her period, which may or may not be true, but I think her body language speaks more volume than her spoken words.

Then we see Adele listening to Emma's voice message that she is working late with Lise, which here I gathered the director is giving the viewers the feeling that this is not the first time she's done this though this is the first time it's being shown, and that Adele can call her if she wants. This was a clue for me. After she was just at the party all up under Lise she now starts spending extra time with Lise, "working late" together. It does not matter that Emma said Adele can call her, she can be in the throws of passion and stop to answer her phone or choose to not answer at all and make an excuse for it later. Just because someone says call them doesn't mean they will be available at that point and time to take the call. I'm thinking she only said that as a way to ease Adele's mind, kinda like reverse psychology - "if I tell her to call me, she won't actually call and she won't think anything weird because there's no way i'd actually be cheating and tell her to call me". Something along those lines.

From the point of the party Adele threw for Emma up to this point we notice Emma becoming more and more distant from Adele and Adele appearing to become increasingly lonely, leading her to cheat and Emma breaking up with Adele. Here's where it gets interesting for me - Emma ends up in a relationship with Lise after breaking up with Adele, which is exactly what she did WITH Adele when she broke up with Sabine. So, while Emma was with Sabine, she meets Adele, flirts with Adele, they even share a kiss (totally inapproriate for someone in a relationship), then I believe shortly thereafter she breaks up with Sabine and ends up with Adele, the same person she had been flirting with all along while she was with Sabine. Now Emma's at it again, this time Adele is in Sabine's shoes and Lise is the new Adele.

Regardless of the means of the break-up, I do think it was inevitable that the relationship would only last for a spell as they were both young when they first met. Young, wide-eyed and full of passion. That usually changes over time, especially when you have such factors as age and maturity coming into play. I think as Emma, who was already older than Adele, matured and was starting to come into her full potential careerwise, socially, etc. she grew tired of Adele and her eyes started to wander towards someone that she had more in common with. This on top of the fact that it already seemed to be a part of her personality to cheat/flirt while in a relationship, it was inevitable that they would break up. One can argue as to whether or not her and Lise actually had sex while she was with Adele, which would constitute full blown cheating, to which I'd argue that just because it wasn't shown doesn't mean it didn't happen. I think the director intentionally teases us by not showing it and leaving us to guess as to whether or not they did, but he did provide the previous clues to show that Emma cheated with Lise. I also think he clued us in to Emma's cheatin' ways by showing us not once, but twice, Emma's completely inappropriate behavior while she's in relationships. I don't care what anyone says, it is completely inappropriate to share a kiss with someone if you are in a relationship as well as flirt and display the behaviors that Emma did while in relationships. For some, kissing is cheating. Personally, I think that's circumstantial depending on the meaning and feelings behind the kiss. In Emma's case I call it cheating because there were indeed feelings there when she kissed Adele. For me, the dead give away is that she happens to end up in relationships with these same people she's flirting with. That speaks volumes, there must've been some sexual attraction to the person at the time of "friendship" if she ends up with them later on. It's all highly inappropriate and leads me to believe that Emma did in fact cheat on Adele.

[–] 9 years ago

[deleted]

[–] beauty2178-1 9 years ago

Agreed! I couldn't believe she reacted so furiously to Adele's admission either, especially considering she was cheating. But I suppose that may have been a bit of an act as she was really looking for a way out with Adele and was happy to now have one. What Adele did was not beyond forgiveness, especially considering that Emma drove her to cheat by neglecting her emotional and physical needs. If she couldn't see her part in Adele cheating then she did not want to see it because it was obvious.

[–] Noir-It-All 9 years ago

Totally agree. Plus, Emma did not lift one finger to help Adele give the party and clean up after. During the meal, Emma did not make sure that Adele took time out to eat the way the actor did.

As far as Emma having her period, I'll bet Lise was having hers, too.

For me, the only bright spot at the end was the actor's concern for Emma's feelings. Also, finding out that Emma was not physically satisfied with Lise made me happy.

[–] gingerfish_apc 9 years ago

Lise was having her period too? The pregnant woman? I doubt it!

[–] Noir-It-All 9 years ago

True, lol. But, the fact that Emma's cycle changed was a red glad for me. She was intimate with Adele less often.

[–] maidenisaias 9 years ago

That's pretty much what I thought.
At the end Emma realized she doesn't have much in common with ádele as once she thought, they just belong to two different world's period.
Emma just didn't have a reason to break up with ádele, I mean seriously Emma didn't even want to hear ádele's explanation, and as you see at the end of the movie on the gallery ádele felt like in a different world and realized she doesn't belong there just like she did when met Emma's friends.
Apart from that ádele also realized that it's time to move on with her life.
Anyway at this point I was crying.

[–] beauty2178-1 9 years ago

I did as well Maidenisaias. The ending coffee shop scene and art gallery scene were just heartbreaking.

[–] Godfrey2 9 years ago

Agreed. The scene at the cafe was absolutely heartbreaking. Adele was still so painfully in love with Emma - both emotionally and physically. While Emma said she no longer loved Emma, she still had the physical craving for Adele. She had also committed into her relationship with Lise and her daughter. The ending at the art gallery was so well done. Adele finally got some distance and closure and was ready to consider moving on.

IN all, a really powerful movie.

[–] Godfrey2 9 years ago

As for the original point of the post, on my first viewing I wasn't so sure that Emma had cheated. Her response was so intense and raw. On a second viewing, I began to wonder if this was simply an easy way for Emma to get Adele out of the way for her to join Lise. However, because Adele acknowledge her infidelity and we will never really know if Emma was unfaithful, I find myself drifting back to Emma's very angry and raw reaction. She acting like...like... her love has cheated on her. Cheating is such an act of betrayal, it seems to fit with Emma's reaction.

But then again, we will never know because it is not in the movie, the script or out-takes.

[–] MissMalevolent 9 years ago

Or she doth protest too much.

You know the thing where a cheater is always more offended at being cheated on and not recognizing that karma is a bitch?

I saw a lot of hypocrisy in Emma's actions toward Adele's infidelity. This does not excuse Adele's actions at all. The "I was lonely", excuse is for the birds. But at the same time...she dumped Sabine to be with Adele and it just looked like history repeating itself with Lise.

Adele gave her the perfect excuse to dump her.

[–] princess_poux 8 years ago

It's been a while since I saw the film, and I've just finished the graphic novel (which ends quite differently), but I got the impression part of Emma's anger and betrayal was because Adele had slept with a man. In the novel (and I think in the film too?) this was one if Emma's big insecurities about the relationship - that Adele wasn't a "real" lesbian, that she was bi, that she preferred men, that she was kind of ashamed of being in a relationship with a woman, and would one day leave Emma for a nice, sensible young man her parents would approve of. So Adele's cheating confirmed all her worst fears and insecurities and was, in its way, heartbreaking for Emma (regardless of whether she saw longevity in the relationship and/or had already cheated herself with Lise)

[–] ksudibjo-380-508057 9 years ago

I was a little confused at the breakup scene when Adele confessed to have slept with her co-worker. Did she really sleep with him or was she lying about it? Because she started out with a lie, then told the truth about kissing him, but then after that no matter what she says, Emma wouldn't believe her. So did Adele end up finally making up a lie that she slept with him that is easier to believe? Or were we supposed to assume that she did actually sleep with him but were never showed in the movie?

[–] shaye22 9 years ago

Probably. When you get to the point where you've been caught out for numerous lies, denying anything else just becomes impossible because nobody is going to believe you. It's akin to the 'boy who cried wolf'. Adele had already spent all her excuses, she had nothing left to deny or argue, because no matter what she said, the damage was already done.

[–] ksudibjo-380-508057 9 years ago

I think if Emma truly loved Adele, she would've given her a 2nd chance or at least a chance to explain herself. Maybe the fact that she cheated with a guy instead of a girl made it that much worse in Emma's eyes?

I mean I can understand it's hard for her to believe anything Adele has to say. But given how devastated and sad Adele looked, if I were Emma, and if I truly loved Adele, I would've given her a 2nd chance.

Edit: The thing is, she's never lied to Emma before this incident. So I'm not sure you could say she'd been "caught with numerous lies." However, it does remind me of the scene at the high school where Adele kept lying/denying about her being a lesbian.

During the breakup scene, you can see there were 2 halves. In the first half, Emma got Adele to confess, and Adele was crying and saying sorry. It could've ended there, but I think at this point in the second half, Emma decided to use this moment as a chance to break up with Adele b/c she had been seeing Lise. So she just kept pushing Adele out of her life. In the end Emma's sex life wasn't as good as when she was with Adele, and you can see her regret in the cafe scene. But it was already too late for Emma.

[–] bobgllsp 9 years ago

Adele hadn't been with Emma yet as they had only met the night before.

[–] fst5000 9 years ago

nice write up, i agree on most points.

adele cheating on emma is not easy to be forgiven, but the movie manages to only concentrate on adele's cheating, while completely neglecting that emma seemed to be doing the same thing from the beginning.

i unerstand emma's reaction to adele's cheating, but it might have been more realistic for emma to admit to her own mistakes and make the relationship with adele work, instead of getting together with a pregnant friend.

all in all still a great, albeit slightly one-sided movie.

i liked the passion, the feeling and the honesty.

8/10

[–] Noir-It-All 9 years ago

I didn't like how Emma fell all over Lise during the party and at the gallery at the end. Even if Adele weren't present, I would have felt it was too much. My feelings have nothing to do with their being the same sex. I would want to say, "Get a room."

[–] ts_nowhere 9 years ago

Came here to see if everyone got it that way. And there is also the point that Emma cheated from the start - she had a girlfriend but started sleeping with Adele.
I think it's really about class. Even though the sex was better with Adele, Lisa just fit better because they could talk about high-brow topics.
Again there is an echo there: The guy dating Adele in the first minutes, was dumped by her partly because they didn't share the same interests - including him not caring about literature.

[–] NotASpeckOfCereal 8 years ago

ts_nowhere: Again there is an echo there: The guy dating Adele in the first minutes, was dumped by her partly because they didn't share the same interests - including him not caring about literature.

I don't think the lack of shared interests did them in. She only went with him due to peer pressure and after she did, found it unsatisfying. In short, he did nothing for her. She didn't love him and when it came time for him to turn her on in the passionate sense, he fell well short.

And after all, Adele and Emma had a lot of dissimilar interests. It wasn't important to either of them to have it that way -- they loved each other regardless and were passionate -- though Emma sure was hoping that Adele would rise above the domestic life and push herself in the creative writing area.

But I'm with you in that I agree with the OP. Emma was cheating at the start, was probably cheating later with Lisa (or at least she was not hiding her interest), and I think Adele's cheat (which was in response to her fear of Emma cheating with Lise) was just the excuse that Emma needed to finally break free of Adele. And how she did it was pretty brutal.

The film ended on a sad note, but it was the best that way to go. I would have not liked it if (spoiler) Adele had got together with the part-time actor and they lived happily ever after. This was the story of Young Adele coming of age into a fantastic true love relationship and having it fall apart. And in the end, though she was assuring everyone at the gallery that she had moved on, it was clear that the wounds were still too fresh, so it was not a right time for a new relationshio.

PS: I found it interesting that Emma ended up in a relationship that not only had a less-than-satisfying passionate side, but also that Emma was brought down to the domestic realities having a child in her life, becoming a family member. So, Karma on two fronts.

Be sure to proof your posts to see if you any words out

[–] black-hood 8 years ago

I found it interesting that Emma ended up in a relationship that not only had a less-than-satisfying passionate side, but also that Emma was brought down to the domestic realities having a child in her life, becoming a family member. So, Karma on two fronts.

How do you know Emma had a less satisfying passionate relationship with her new partner? They seemed very happy together. She also seemed really happy that they had a family together.

[–] NotASpeckOfCereal 8 years ago

How do you know Emma had a less satisfying passionate relationship with her new partner? They seemed very happy together. She also seemed really happy that they had a family together.

You ask me this without me having benefit of having just seen it the night before, as when I wrote those words last January, but I remember having that impression from what few seconds we saw with her on screen with her family.

I could be wrong, of course, since there was no dialog spelling that out for us. It's left to interpretation, speculation.

Be sure to proof your posts to see if you any words out

[–] yajji 8 years ago

How do you know Emma had a less satisfying passionate relationship with her new partner? They seemed very happy together. She also seemed really happy that they had a family together.

We know this because Emma said so herself. Don't you remember the cafe scene towards the end of the film, where Adele and Emma meet up after they've separated? Emma says, something along the lines of, "it's different sexually. It's not like with you". We all saw how passionate Emma's sex life with Adele was, they couldn't stop kissing each other most of the time, so for her to say it's "not like" it was with Adele, indicates the sex is much weaker with Lise.

[–] henrimaine 8 years ago

So most viewers are certain that Emma was cheating on Adele. That's a bit surprising given that the film offered no direct evidence on that.

As some people have already mentioned - Emma seemed to be particularly angry about the fact that Adele had cheated on her with a man. I guess Emma considered that to be a huge betrayal. If Adele had cheated with a girl, that might have been quite OK. In fact, Emma might have not considered that a real cheating at all. I don't know what the exact rules of cheating are in the gay community, but I have got an impression that it is considered permissible to fool around with members of that same community, as long as you don't let it get too serious. If this is so, then it is possible that Emma did not think of her own possible cheating as real cheating, while Adele's cheating was definitely a real cheating.

[–] beauty2178-1 8 years ago

I think the evidence offered was pretty direct, as stated in my original post. We don't have to physically see her kissing or having sex with Lise in order to conclude that she did in fact cheat with her. I think what the director did show of Emma's behaviors was more than enough to conclude that she's a cheater.
As far as your assertion that it is okay for homosexual couples to cheat so long as it's with same gendered people - as a woman that has been in relationships with women I can tell you that I do not know that to be true within the lesbian community. Of course, there are couples who are open to that sort of thing as their personal preference but generally speaking of the community in its entirety, that is not true. Cheating is cheating, regardless of it being with someone of the same sex or opposite sex.

[–] anxious_cactus 8 years ago

At first I thought that Emma cheated too, but now I'm kind of thinking that the flirting scenes and them working together late at night were meant to explain why Adele went on cheating on Emma? Just an idea. Yes, we are left to keep guessing, and yes, she could've easily been cheating on Adele during that period, but the point of those scenes can also be just seeing how lonely Adele felt.

There sure was something going on between Emma and Lise, and them spending more time together could've led to something more but not necessarily - Emma may have acted on her feelings only after she broke up with Adele.

[–] mikko-sandt 8 years ago

So most viewers are certain that Emma was cheating on Adele. That's a bit surprising given that the film offered no direct evidence on that.

Exactly. People are simply making too many unneeded assumptions here.

Emma was not cheating. If she had been, it'd have been made more obvious. Those "hints" served no other purpose but to drive Adelle to cheat.